Tag Archives: UK

UK-Australia: best two-for-one return flight ticket deal (Rousse)

After rejecting membership of a new running club, and the designs by a pair of old women for our new bathroom, TPR and I walked up to the Australian embassy to organise a day return trip to the other side … Continue reading

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Introducing Queen Manchester (Rousse)

Manchester was declared the capital of the UK. In recognition, Her Majesty, dressed all in yellow, declared henceforth that she would be known as Queen Manchester.

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Princes Harry and William at the ice pageant (Belle)

Travelling up the escalator to the sixth-floor office, I saw a gaping hole at the top and Mr L (my school history teacher) fell down. Fortunately, he swung himself back to safety like a gibbon. But I was fuming about … Continue reading

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A day out in London with a Dane, an impersonator, and a baby Belle (Rousse)

I had a day out with Belle in London. First she took me to the museum cafĂ© where she treated me to a raspberry and ice cream fruit sundae. I ate it seated next to a Dane who told me … Continue reading

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Illegal immigration from Canada to the US with a stolen identity (Rousse)

The border between Canada and the US was due to reopen temporarily, but nobody knew for how long. I was determined to cross it. However, as a UK citizen, this would be illegal. As part of my disguise as an … Continue reading

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Ronnie Corbett goes to university (Rousse)

Ronnie Corbett placed his right arm over my shoulder and engaged me in conversation about university entry tariffs and the relative merits of ‘old’ and post-92 institutions. How, for example, does the ‘quality’ of graduates from Northumbria, Durham, and Napier … Continue reading

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Tea with President Trump (Rousse)

I foolishly agreed to take tea with President Trump during his official visit to the UK. However, there was some question as to whether or not I would make it to our date. My mode of transport was my mother’s … Continue reading

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A Canadian in the UK (Rousse)

My extremely tall, dark, handsome Canadian cousin was living in the UK with his Italian girlfriend and her two children. One day I had a go at being as tall as my cousin. I discovered all the inconveniences that extra … Continue reading

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Mid-air knitter stalked by elderly couple on flight to the UK from Thailand (Rousse)

I must have broken several international laws on board the flight from Thailand back to the UK: I carried a sharp three inch needle in my hand luggage I looped the yarn from my ball of blue wool to the … Continue reading

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Jimmy Savile ‘in hibernation’ (Rousse)

Jimmy Savile was not dead. I learnt this from a tweet in French. It translated as ‘How astonishing that Jimmy Savile has been in hibernation for all this time’. The tweet was one amongst hundreds collected in a book of … Continue reading

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