Category Archives: Uncategorized

Kidnapped kept woman (Rousse)

I was kidnapped twice. On each occasion my kidnapper was one of my former drama teachers. The first time TPR rescued me and took me to live in his white-washed bungalow in the countryside. Then one day I made the … Continue reading

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Wisteria excess (Rousse)

I had so many wisteria stalks, yet nowhere to plant them. On checking all round the garden to find a vacant patch of soil, I discovered that every inch of space was already taken – by wisteria stalks.

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Jennifer Aniston declares ‘English knickers best in the world’ (Rousse)

The cast members of Friends were easily recognisable when I met the actors in Milwaukee, although I was surprised that David Schwimmer (who played Ross) was so short in stature. I asked Jennifer Aniston if she could arrange for Wardrobe … Continue reading

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Dinner with the Beckhams (Rousse)

‘You need to be ready at 6:30pm for David to pick us up for our evening with the Beckhams’, I said to TPR – just loud enough for everyone in the queue to hear me. Many heads turned to see … Continue reading

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Ramsey MacMahon and a whale (Rousse)

Before we headed to the ferry terminal, LM and I checked the birthday cards in the stranger’s flat. They were all for someone called Ramsey – most likely the BBC Alba presenter Ramsey MacMahon, who I had just seen in … Continue reading

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Tadpole hunting with a fishing rod (Rousse)

GK sheepishly walked back into my life when his marriage came to an abrupt end. I knew this immediately, the evidence writ large across the tan line on his wedding ring finger. It seemed that GK regarded my parents’ house … Continue reading

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A missed opportunity to bed Chris Addison (Rousse)

I deeply regretted missing the chance to sleep with my co-star Chris Addison, but this was partly my own doing. I should have refused to meet CS in a Glasgow hotel to spend an afternoon downing gin and rum cocktails … Continue reading

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A return to University after lockdown (Rousse)

I was so excited to be returning to university after the pandemic lockdown, and very much looking forward to seeing my 4th year friends. Of course, we all ‘saw’ GK on a regular basis now that he was famous. Usually … Continue reading

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Invitation to murder (Rousse)

My family was running the risk of reputational ruin. Already we were known for being loud and eccentric. Now it seems that we had invited someone for dinner and – for entertainment at the end of the evening – murdered … Continue reading

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Fiona Bruce held up by rabbi (Rousse)

‘Sorry I’m late’, said Fiona Bruce. ‘I couldn’t get away from the rabbi’. ‘Oh’, I responded. ‘I had no idea that you were Jewish’.

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