Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rousse the scone thief

The serving staff tried to shoo us out of the dining room by telling us to come back when it opened for breakfast. We stood our ground, refusing to leave hungry. Eventually some cellophane-wrapped green taco shells were found for … Continue reading

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Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)

I was awake all night. How fortunate then that a television set had mysteriously appeared at the foot of the bed. I was able to watch two full feature films. In the first, Barbra Streisand was married to Nick Nolte. … Continue reading

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Changing of the bride at Buckingham Palace (Rousse)

The Duchess of Cambridge despatched, I took over at Prince William’s side. The arrangement allowed for TPR to accompany me in my new role as royal wife, and initially we made a very happy threesome. However serious problems started to … Continue reading

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How to serve Chardonnay Australian-style (Rousse)

This means of marketing alcohol was completely alien to me. In my home country of Scotland tourists learnt about whisky by following a guide around a distillery, with the prospect of a free sample at the end of a tour. … Continue reading

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Babe in the bushes (Rousse)

Something caught my eye as I peered out of the bathroom window. At first I thought it was a squirrel in the shrubbery, but when I opened the back door and stepped out into the garden I realised that the … Continue reading

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Jools Holland, Danny Baker and strange events in London (Belle)

The car was so old it had a split windscreen and cracked leather seats. I had no idea where it had come from, but even so I attempted to drive it at break-neck speed while seated in the passenger seat. … Continue reading

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Murder in the machair (Rousse)

Although I had no idea what I was doing here, I recognised the familiar Harris landscape: islands, hills and the single track road, the perfect combination for cycling holidays by tandem. The official pushed open the roadside gate and led … Continue reading

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Single women looking for men, and a new line in hot tubs (Rousse)

TPR and GJ were sewn into a two-man Black Watch tartan straight-jacket. Forced together so closely, the dancing tutor believed this would speed up the process of teaching them the moves for the forthcoming ball. Neither was particularly charmed by … Continue reading

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Commuting by ‘Fawlty Towers’ ocean liner (Belle)

The ocean liner departure hall was overcrowded and really confusing, yet still I refused to ask for help. I only wanted to travel as far as Hatfield, but I didn’t know if my ship would be departing from the north- … Continue reading

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Belle ‘bottles’ Great British Bake Off

Newly released from prison, I had unexpectedly made it to the semi-finals of The Great British Bake Off. And now here I was, trying to knead dough on a cluttered work surface in C’s kitchen. It was my first visit … Continue reading

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