Monthly Archives: May 2011

Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse)

Posted on May 7, 2011 by Dreamaticus

It was the biggest party in Hexham since my own wedding in 1987. Everyone was at the reception. Prince William represented the royal family in his red tartan trousers, sporting heroes Jackie and Bobby Charlton entertained the younger guests with … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Steak pie or the romance of the desert? Belle decides…

Posted on May 6, 2011 by Dreamaticus

The thought of eating another chickpea-based meal sitting under the stars with the camels was too much for me. I would so much rather eat steak pie in the John Lewis staff canteen (now open to the public). ‘Tabloid blindness’ … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Decomposed body found near former film set (Rousse)

Posted on May 6, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Until Hollywood’s arrival, the village’s reputation was limited to “reasonable pit stop for British families en route to the French riviera”. Three years since serving as the backdrop to one of the most successful movies of all time, the village … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Belle holidays with The Monkees

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Dreamaticus

The caravan was extremely small considering at least two of The Monkees had joined us for a holiday. To escape the cramped quarters, I went on a tiny train deep into the hillside for an “authentic taste of 19th century … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reality TV hits a new low (Belle)

Posted on May 3, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Despite reality TV being declared dead, here I was on the set of another lame programme. ‘Model Soldiers’ involved implausibly attractive people being put through their paces with real soldiers. The main prize – a trip to a combat zone … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Rousse roller-blades, writes proposals, and collects cast-offs

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Late for work, I struggled to roller-blade uphill over the cobbles of Edinburgh’s Old Town in pursuit of the overweight female folk singer. The early morning street cleaners were a further obstacle, especially when they took pleasure in “accidentally” spraying … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A successful escape (Belle)

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Dreamaticus

It was a daring escape plan. I gathered my friends and the dog and the cat into a wire mesh cage, locked us in and started to slide down four fights of stairs, stopping only to push the front door … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Belle goes to work on an egg

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Although I had heard many ridiculous business ideas, the suggestion that I invest in a second-hand soft-boiled egg concern was the definitely the worst.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse)

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (aka Jordan) was my new, self-appointed, right-hand woman. She accompanied me to all my speaking engagements, often with her two younger children Junior and Princess. On this occasion I was delivering a keynote paper on computer security at … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment