Tag Archives: wash

Stephen Fry turns up nose at roll up soap bag (Rousse)

For years, my little sister scoured the sales for bargains. Many of her purchases had been stored away unused for years, the majority still in their original packaging. I took a pile of these goods to a posh toy shop … Continue reading

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Pea soup in confined space (Rousse)

In B & E’s tiny galley kitchen I cooked pea soup on a temperamental electric hob. B was so keen to try the green boiling concoction that he drank some straight from the pan. It was a miracle that he … Continue reading

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Potato and pea poisoning in buy-to-let investment (Rousse)

TPR and I and some friends invested in a buy-to-let flat. One of our co-investors took the lead on the renovations and started by dismantling the navy blue bath. We chose the wallpaper (in the event too expensive for a … Continue reading

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Inadequate research council accommodation and a couple of dead whales (Rousse)

The EPSRC put me up in a reasonable hotel, but my room did not have enough storage space. I would make a request for a corner cupboard and some shelving for my books above the radiator. In the meantime I … Continue reading

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A freezer door, dirty washing, a herd of elephants, greyhounds, a dead dog, and £100k of ruined camera equipment (Rousse)

I was over at RR’s flat helping out with a few things, including an open freezer door. TPR came along for the ride with his guitar and a couple of amps. It was our last day before heading off on … Continue reading

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The dangers of tractor detailing (Rousse)

TPR’s new role in life was tractor detailer. I watched him set up a machine for washing. I was very worried that he might accidentally start the tractor engine while underneath it and be crushed to death.

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A close encounter in the shower (Rousse)

I was staying in a big chain hotel with thin walls and communal showers. I declared that I needed to wash my hair and KH (a pal from my undergraduate days) volunteered to assist me. I let him come as … Continue reading

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Murderer serves lunch to transsexual surprise guest feet away from victim’s remains in biscuit tin (Rousse)

I planned X’s murder to coincide with his holiday. That way nobody would miss him when he didn’t turn up to work. While I deliberated over where to dump his body parts, I kept them in a small round red … Continue reading

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A personal invitation from JK Rowling to PotterLand (Rousse)

I’d won a coveted invitation to JK Rowling’s house in South Queensferry. She invited me to sit at the table with five others to discuss “business”, but before long I’d been distracted into talking trivia. I could tell that our … Continue reading

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Barber Bruce Forsyth (Rousse)

Bruce Forsyth ran into the room brandishing a pair of barber’s scissors. “Would you mind washing your hair in another bathroom love?” he asked. “I’ve got a client in for a hair cut.” I said that would be fine, picked … Continue reading

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