Chinese clamour for Christmas goods (Rousse)

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Dreamaticus

The day before our trip to China I wandered around the warehouse watching the workers select goods for the trade exhibition. Christmas-branded materials were supposed to be very popular amongst the Chinese population. Now I understood why the Chinese cash and carry stocked such a limited range of goods.

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Word games with the mob (Belle)

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Dreamaticus

In Australia, the birthday party was in full swing. The gangland boss, who looked like a child but was in fact celebrating his 32nd birthday, was leading the games.

He demanded all of his lackeys (me included) call out words beginning with ‘Ir’. ‘Irascible’ and ‘Irradiated’ were offered. We were all desperately trying to avoid using ‘Irritating’. He scoffed at all our efforts and showed us his name-card on which he had written in a childish scrawl. His preferred birthday adjective was ‘Iron’. He really was as stupid as we were frightened.

Later I left my small and squalid New York flat to attend ten minutes of rehearsals with ‘my team’. What a depressing play this was – why had I chosen it?

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REF and romance (Rousse)

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Dreamaticus

It was meant to be a discussion of what I could contribute to our Research Excellence Framework (REF) submission. It soon turned into a passionate snog. I adjusted my silk petticoat and ran across the room to lock the office door so that nobody could interrupt us.

I was very surprised to learn that my secret admirer had waited many long months for this moment. Until now I’d always believed that this heavyweight academic had little time for me. Whatever would his wife (and my companion at lunch) think?

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Stornoway Calmac services dropped in favour of cargo runs to Iceland (Rousse)

Posted on March 31, 2013 by Dreamaticus

The Caledonian MacBrayne services from the Isle of Lewis to Ullapool had been greatly reduced: the unprofitable route across the Minch was barely worth running now that Stornoway was a major port for container ships bound for Iceland. So we knew that we would have only one opportunity to head home after our holiday in the Outer Hebrides as guests of D and AJ: Sunday afternoon at 4pm.

The big question was whether J and GC would make it to the ferry in time too. We weren’t entirely convinced that they’d manage the course under their own steam by tandem – but they did, just in the nick of time.

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Sledging and the snow cemetery (Rousse)

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Dreamaticus

None other than social media guru ES joined us for an afternoon of sledging. Even though the pistes were packed, we had a great time dashing down the slopes. You just had to be careful not to crash into other sledgers as you approached the end of the run.

Just a little further on, another danger was the snow cemetery. Here were the tombs of sledging accident victims cleverly crafted according to techniques employed by eskimos when building igloos. If you hit any of these, you would ruin their beautiful snow carvings.

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Rousse reprimanded

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Dreamaticus

PC grumbled “Oh no, I’m in one of your dreams! I hope you’re not going to blog this.”

Meanwhile JA kept his mouth shut, unsure of British etiquette in such circumstances.

Sorry PC…

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Skiing in Scotland: chairlifts, cafés and crime (Rousse)

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Dreamaticus

There was something not quite right about this Scottish ski resort. The main drag lift, for example, pulled skiers uphill at such a speed that TPR and I found it almost impossible to cross their path while out on our little “snow walk”.

Back down in the village the options for eating out were minimal. Apart from a family-owned restaurant where toddlers were welcome so long as they sat on their parents’ laps, the main offering for dinner was a “snow sandwich”, i.e. a large white bread roll stuffed with grated cheese.

Later I noticed a member of staff desperately trying to clean stains from the carpet in a small café, a couple doing a runner (I didn’t see their faces, but she had very thick ankles), and two waitresses fighting over tips. Was I a late witness to some terrible Scottish ski resort crime?

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Learning to love minibeasts (Rousse)

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Dreamaticus

My bags were packed and loaded into the hold for the long coach journey through France. I realised too late that my iPhone and headphones would now be parted from me for several hours. Why hadn’t I remembered to keep them in my pocket? I now faced the prospect of several hours of boredom, as well as possible travel sickness.

A large number of people were about to set off on the same journey as me, and each had found a different form of entertainment while waiting for the signal to leave. I joined a friend into a small glass-fronted room for a catch-up. I was appalled to discover that she was undergoing therapy to overcome her fear of insects in what turned out to be a shed. From the moment I walked through the wooden door I too was covered in all manner of creepy crawlies, from harmless woodlice to stinging wasps.

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Disco dancing and dalliances at the University of Birmingham (Rousse)

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Dreamaticus

My birthday disco lights came in useful at a party hosted in a student flat with all my undergraduate pals from Birmingham University’s French department. While the rest of us danced the night away, X was up to her usual tricks next door, entertaining a number of gentlemen friends.

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Shakespeare and astrophysics for lunch (Rousse)

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Dreamaticus

I took apart the marble mounted interactive display in the museum lobby so that I could replace the details of the forthcoming lunchtime talks. It was high time that the world heard what SPC had to say about Shakespeare, and learnt all about astrophysics from TPR.

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