Unsatisfactory hotel accommodation and Bobby the dog ‘saved’ (Rousse)

TPR and I travelled to the Isle of Lewis for SG’s sister’s birthday party. When we arrived RG was busy installing pebble-proof windows. This was because unhappy tourists had recently taken to showing their displeasure by shattering the most accessible pane of glass with a shower of small stones.

RG didn’t have time to show us to our room due to the quantity of party guests that arrived at the house at the same time as us. These included my cousins S and N, both dressed up in their kilts.

The accommodation arrangements were dreadful. There were so many people there that guests were forced to sleep five to a single bed. Just as I was saying to TPR that we might be better off bedding down in the car we heard a screech of brakes, a crash and a cry of ‘Bobby!’

Someone had left the garden gate open, JG’s dog had escaped, and now he was a flattened mess on the tarmac – except he wasn’t. We realised that it was all a false alarm when Bobby bounded back down the drive, his ginger ears flopping with as much life as usual.

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Photo opportunities and a lecture on spending (Rousse)

We raced to the top of the hill with the dog to photograph the amazing sunset over Oban. We almost caused an accident when a red setter chased us and then ran into the road.

Then it was back to the flat where another photo opportunity presented itself: a hedgehog was playing on our lawn. However, by this time my camera battery was flat so it was impossible to take any pictures.

MP walked into the bedroom while I was fiddling with the camera. I had something serious to say to him. I grabbed this opportunity to suggest that nobody of his wealth should be taking out £700 loans with exorbitant interest rates to pay for consumer goods.

In response he muttered something unintelligible about my bathroom butterfly collection.

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A covert BA operation thwarted (Rousse)

TPR got the car stuck in a ditch as we were trying to follow the BA air steward and her child back to base.

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A room with a view (Rousse)

I inherited the Dean’s old office. Best of all was the view from the window of the washing line, and the fine array of exotic birds that perched upon it.

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The special demands of a shopping companion (Rousse)

Each year I held a party for my colleagues at which I supplied a wide selection of homemade food. JK was a great fan of the event, as was BP: they had both attended six years in a row.

This year I was so stressed that I was obliged to buy in provisions. I asked if anyone would like to accompany me to Sainsburys to do the shopping. XY volunteered, but only after someone had given him a back massage.

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A sticky, sludgy end (Rousse)

My friend decided to take the ‘short route’ over the boggy moorland.

‘I won’t rescue you if you fall in!’ I called after her – just at the point that she sank up to her thighs in muddy sludge.

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An Edinburgh colony house visit (Rousse)

I met LK sitting on the narrow pavement outside her colony house on Easter Road. She wanted to show me her garden so we left her two daughters by the roadside and I followed her through the main door of her building into the gloomy stairwell. There was very little room in here and I immediately felt claustrophobic, especially under the long white bed sheets that were hanging out to dry from the banister rail.

Once back outside again, however, it was lovely to see the elderly residents of Edinburgh enjoying their gardens. I was also impressed by the long back green, ideal for children’s ball games.

Then LK took me up to her flat. I climbed into her son’s bed and checked his application for a place on a degree course at Robert Gordon University. At the same time I explained to LK the difference between GCSE, AS and A levels.

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England v Sweden: where to watch the match (Rousse)

Belle and I debated where we should spend our evening together. The final choice depended on who won the football. We really wanted to be with the fans of the victors, whether or not England beat Sweden.

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Birmingham graduate destinations: deep sea diving, death, and a hot rod librarian (Rousse)

We were all travelling on the Birmingham University French 1986 graduates’ bus. DM passed along the aisle offering cups of tea. I told her that TPR and I had made a brief visit to Rhyl and she said that we should have called in on her. She could have taken us deep sea diving! If we still fancied a dip, we would be welcome to join her and her husband on holiday on their boat in the tropics.

The woman on the coach sitting next to me was older than the rest of us. She spoke with a West Midlands accent and told us that her family came from Coventry. When we asked why she had joined us for the day she explained that she was representing her son David Limmington. David had died 16 years earlier from food poisoning after eating five figs at a buffet reception in the library were he worked.

Another participant called everyone to attention. He now worked as a microphone man for BBC3. He recommended that everyone watch his latest show, Hot rod librarian. He played some footage so that we would get a flavour of it. Two beautiful silver faces were talking to one another. At first they looked like SB and HJ, but as the camera panned in they were revealed to be a couple of sweet wrappers in the gutter.

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The secret night visitor (Rousse)

The H family bought a white 1970s house in a small close not far from our bedsit.

I preferred their place over ours: there was so much more space. So I would regularly sneak into their sitting room late at night and sleep on the floor between E and J in their single beds.

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