A cell in a cell (Rousse)

Posted on June 12, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The prison population was growing. Even I was now a member.

Each day I handed my mobile phone over for recharging so that I would at least have some entertainment in my cell.

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Not so pretty in pink (Rousse)

Posted on June 10, 2015 by Dreamaticus

As a reward for taking on extra responsibilities at work, XY was provided a suite of rooms to decorate to his own specifications.

He left the dull pink bathroom as it was, but had the walls redecorated using remnants of pink and purple 1970s wallpaper. He also put down a vile pink shag pile carpet throughout the suite.

Meanwhile, in the period between exam boards and the announcement of marks, our boss volunteered to prepare my knitting exercise for the start of the new academic year in September.

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Visual aid throw-back (Rousse)

Posted on June 9, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Green pen in hand, it wasn’t until I was on my tenth acetate that it dawned on me that it would make more sense to create the visual aids for my conference presentation in PowerPoint. It was the twenty-first century after all.

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Funding front-runner is boy from Limerick (Rousse)

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The students were a little bewildered when I gave each of them a sheet of flipchart paper and the instruction to list the priorities of their proposed research. Somehow we would use this output to determine who would get the funding.

Over everyone else, I fancied the chances of the boy from Limerick.

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A Norwegian odyssey (Rousse)

Posted on June 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

TPR took out the map and showed me the route. He was going to catch a boat from Newcastle to Norway, then cycle the length of the famous fjords.

I was not invited because – as his wife – it was my responsibility to wait at home for the summer delivery of white goods.

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How to divide a kitchen (Rousse)

Posted on June 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I moved into KS’s house in Bristol. Our sleeping accommodation was on one floor, KS and HT had theirs below us, and the huge shared kitchen was in the basement. We were on our own for the first couple of weeks while KS was away on tour with the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre.

When KS came back he was appalled that we had occupied just one end of the kitchen. Why had we not used the sink in the far corner? I protested that the sink by the window was much better positioned for washing up due to its location next to the window that looked out on to the garden.

KS explained that although the kitchen was shared, we were meant to keep to our allocated spaces. As his lodgers, our place was the dingy corner at the back of the room.

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Unusual attractions in rural Northumberland (Rousse)

Posted on June 4, 2015 by Dreamaticus

My father easily parked the silver Ford Granada outside the shopping parade. It was only when everyone got out that I discovered why this particular space was free: you could only stay here for one hour. We would surely need longer than that if we were staying in Hexham for a meal. I decided to move the car myself.

I turned right at the junction (without looking left first and so only narrowly avoided a crash into an on-coming vehicle), then turned off the main road to drive through the rural villages. The road was covered in coins that had been dropped on the tarmac for good luck.

I passed a field where an 84 year old woman was swinging from a tarzee rope, egged on by her neighbours.

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When to recycle means risking your life (Rousse)

Posted on June 3, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The new system for recycling household waste was very dangerous.

You had to carry the unwanted items to an old-fashioned steel dustbin, then climb onto an underwater conveyor belt. This took you to the seabed where you could make your deposit.

I nearly drowned in the process.

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An embarrassing job interview (Rousse)

Posted on June 1, 2015 by Dreamaticus

WB suffered an unfortunate upper body wardrobe malfunction when at an interview for a job with the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council.

However, everyone was so keen for her to join the organisation that they all chose to ignore it. The main concern was whether she could arrange childcare to be able to accept this most prestigious position.

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Unwelcome gate-crashers (Rousse)

Posted on May 31, 2015 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I were fooled into thinking that we were being shown to our room. The problem was that none was available for us.

Instead SM and PM were asked to host us in their massive modern apartment. They were not pleased with this suggestion at all.

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