Unusual attractions in rural Northumberland (Rousse)

My father easily parked the silver Ford Granada outside the shopping parade. It was only when everyone got out that I discovered why this particular space was free: you could only stay here for one hour. We would surely need longer than that if we were staying in Hexham for a meal. I decided to move the car myself.

I turned right at the junction (without looking left first and so only narrowly avoided a crash into an on-coming vehicle), then turned off the main road to drive through the rural villages. The road was covered in coins that had been dropped on the tarmac for good luck.

I passed a field where an 84 year old woman was swinging from a tarzee rope, egged on by her neighbours.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When to recycle means risking your life (Rousse)

The new system for recycling household waste was very dangerous.

You had to carry the unwanted items to an old-fashioned steel dustbin, then climb onto an underwater conveyor belt. This took you to the seabed where you could make your deposit.

I nearly drowned in the process.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An embarrassing job interview (Rousse)

WB suffered an unfortunate upper body wardrobe malfunction when at an interview for a job with the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council.

However, everyone was so keen for her to join the organisation that they all chose to ignore it. The main concern was whether she could arrange childcare to be able to accept this most prestigious position.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unwelcome gate-crashers (Rousse)

TPR and I were fooled into thinking that we were being shown to our room. The problem was that none was available for us.

Instead SM and PM were asked to host us in their massive modern apartment. They were not pleased with this suggestion at all.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unsatisfactory hotel accommodation and Bobby the dog ‘saved’ (Rousse)

TPR and I travelled to the Isle of Lewis for SG’s sister’s birthday party. When we arrived RG was busy installing pebble-proof windows. This was because unhappy tourists had recently taken to showing their displeasure by shattering the most accessible pane of glass with a shower of small stones.

RG didn’t have time to show us to our room due to the quantity of party guests that arrived at the house at the same time as us. These included my cousins S and N, both dressed up in their kilts.

The accommodation arrangements were dreadful. There were so many people there that guests were forced to sleep five to a single bed. Just as I was saying to TPR that we might be better off bedding down in the car we heard a screech of brakes, a crash and a cry of ‘Bobby!’

Someone had left the garden gate open, JG’s dog had escaped, and now he was a flattened mess on the tarmac – except he wasn’t. We realised that it was all a false alarm when Bobby bounded back down the drive, his ginger ears flopping with as much life as usual.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo opportunities and a lecture on spending (Rousse)

We raced to the top of the hill with the dog to photograph the amazing sunset over Oban. We almost caused an accident when a red setter chased us and then ran into the road.

Then it was back to the flat where another photo opportunity presented itself: a hedgehog was playing on our lawn. However, by this time my camera battery was flat so it was impossible to take any pictures.

MP walked into the bedroom while I was fiddling with the camera. I had something serious to say to him. I grabbed this opportunity to suggest that nobody of his wealth should be taking out £700 loans with exorbitant interest rates to pay for consumer goods.

In response he muttered something unintelligible about my bathroom butterfly collection.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A covert BA operation thwarted (Rousse)

TPR got the car stuck in a ditch as we were trying to follow the BA air steward and her child back to base.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A room with a view (Rousse)

I inherited the Dean’s old office. Best of all was the view from the window of the washing line, and the fine array of exotic birds that perched upon it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The special demands of a shopping companion (Rousse)

Each year I held a party for my colleagues at which I supplied a wide selection of homemade food. JK was a great fan of the event, as was BP: they had both attended six years in a row.

This year I was so stressed that I was obliged to buy in provisions. I asked if anyone would like to accompany me to Sainsburys to do the shopping. XY volunteered, but only after someone had given him a back massage.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A sticky, sludgy end (Rousse)

My friend decided to take the ‘short route’ over the boggy moorland.

‘I won’t rescue you if you fall in!’ I called after her – just at the point that she sank up to her thighs in muddy sludge.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment