Driver records 275 miles per hour en route to Oxford (Rousse)

I hit the accelerator rather than the brake and watched in horror as the speedometer recorded a top speed of 275 mph. Even travelling at this speed did not help us reach our destination of Oxford any quicker. We had drifted so far over to the east of the UK road network that it was going to take hours to find and follow a route back to the M40.

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New whisky distilled by Chinese students (Rousse)

I had never had such a rowdy class of students, nor had I ever been so poorly prepared for the start of the new academic year.

When two of the Chinese students were late because they had been distilling whisky I doubted their commitment to the course.

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Luxury ambulance fleet rescues kidnap victims (Rousse)

The rescuers carried us from the terrorists’ enclave to the safety of the most luxurious ambulances I had ever seen. I had a whole one to myself complete with an empire size bed with a memory foam mattress. The Iranian doctor was also very attentive, although I disapproved of his young companion who clung to him wherever he went, even when he was tending to me in bed.

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The corpse in the cupboard, and a German underwear display (Rousse)

The guests at the dinner table were appalled when my mother opened the cupboard door and pulled out the heavy white metal trunk that contained the corpse. Why had she kept the body for so long, and what was she about to do with it?

Meanwhile I tried to contact WB and PN to find out whether or not they would be in Edinburgh over Christmas. In the end I had to visit them in person to get an answer.

I very much admired wall displays of clean underwear in WB’s flat. She told me that this was a German tradition.

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Three pretty blondes and a dozen black birds (Rousse)

BC hosted the party in her tiny house. I’d never seen a kitchen so small, nor tried to cook in one. The sitting room was a bit bigger, and in there we had fun lining BC up on her sofa with two other tiny fit friends, JLW and ECM. We ended up with three pretty blondes, all in a row.

The party was cut short because BC’s husband GC had to deal with an industrial dispute at work. It took me longer to leave than I hoped because I was attacked by a dozen huge black ravens in the sitting room while I was packing.

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Babysitter force-feeds chocolate to foreign child in her care (Rousse)

I was appalled at the contents of my sister’s handbag. It was stuffed with sweets and chocolates, from Werther’s originals to a type of Walnut Whip crossed with a Cadbury’s Creme egg that I had never encountered before.

My sister suggested that I offered this big chocolate treat to the Jewish Hungarian girl with the Manchester accent who was perched on the back of her bike. My sister was this child’s babysitter for the whole summer holiday.

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The private life of Marcus Brigstocke (Rousse)

I chased after Marcus Brigstocke on my bike to tell him how much I liked him.

‘Why do you think that is?’ he asked.

‘Because we are demographically very similar?’ I suggested.

(It would have been rather rude to mention my interest in his private life.)

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Plans for dinner at Bill’s in Brighton ruined by Tunnocks afternoon tea (Rousse)

I was taking TPR on a tour of my work haunts. In Brighton I had planned dinner at Bill’s Restaurant. However, when we met JS in the street and she told us that NY worked nearby we changed our plans.

JS also told me that she hoped that AR had done well enough in her A levels to win a place at Liverpool John Moores University to study Applied Consumer Studies.

NY worked in the basement of a castle. The wood of his office door was so thick that he couldn’t hear our knocking. Fortunately the Principal, whose office was next door, could hear us. She came out to make us feel welcome.

We then all went for a Computer Services hosted afternoon tea of scones and Tunnocks tea cakes. We didn’t make it to the restaurant after all.

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An audience with the Queen at Buckingham Palace (Rousse)

By the time Granny H and I reached Buckingham Palace to interview the Queen my feet were terribly blistered from wearing the pale blue shoes. TPR had borrowed them a couple of days earlier to wear to DT’s party and had stretched them. Now they rubbed mercilessly against my tender skin.

I considered popping into a shoe shop at the top of the Mall to buy more suitable footwear, but Granny H said that we did not have time to do so. Our appointment at the palace was for 12:15 and it was already 12:10.

The palace itself was surprisingly busy. When I learnt that the royal family was now renting out rooms for office space I understood why there were long queues at the various security check-points. We almost mistakenly ended up in the line for the Belgian Consulate.

At the last security gate the official considered my letter of invitation and the interview questions that we had prepared. She gave us the code for the lift and waved us through. All we needed now was someone tall enough to reach up to the button for the second floor and our audience with the Queen could begin.

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AC/DC in concert in China (Rousse)

AC/DC were playing in China. Since I was there on a work trip I decided to go along to the concert.

BP made a block booking of tickets and organised for us to reach the venue by coach (which I almost missed because I thought I had lost my purse and iPhone when they were, in fact, safely stored in a red mesh bag).

I couldn’t find anyone willing to visit the tourist attractions with me after the show. The sweet girl on hotel reception wasn’t interested, nor was my colleague RK, who had seen everything the day before.

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