A top floor house sale and an errant husband confesses (Rousse)

As soon as KA told me the date of her party I knew that there would be a problem. I had to be in Reading on that date. However, I arranged things so that I could call in at her flat on the day of the event just before I set off on my long journey south by car.

When I looked up to the top floor flat from the street I saw a “For sale” sign attached to one of the outside windows. It was now clear that I’d been invited to the reverse of a house warming party. How exciting!

Inside the common staircase and walls were coated with yellow gunge. I tried as carefully as I could but, even so, by the time I reached the top floor my shoes were caked in the vile substance. KA informed me that the gunge had not put off potential purchasers, and that someone had already offered to buy the flat.

I stayed at the party for an hour or so, chatting to the only other early guest. This was KMcM, an old friend from the Manor House at the University of Birmingham. Then I left for Reading.

It was along and confusing drive, especially with regards to bus lane priorities, but I made it and soon settled down to work at my destination. I had almost finished everything by 12:40 the next day, so at that point I rang TPR to ask if he was ready to meet me.

TPR sounded terrible down the line. My call had clearly woken him, and it sounded like he was hungover. He reported that he had a confession. He didn’t need to say any more: I knew exactly what he had done. However, it did come as a surprise to learn that his new love was Edinburgh Internet entrepreneur KH. I was not prepared to let him go easily and reminded him that I would be at his sister’s 50th birthday party next month, whether he liked it or not.

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What to do when you miss a charter flight, and fancy lace underwear (Rousse)

TF came with us on a winter sports holiday package included both skiing and tandem riding.

On the last day there was some confusion over access to the hotel. I was lucky enough to find my room (eventually) although its condition was not ideal: there was rain coming in through the ceiling. I did not complain because the staff already had far too much else to deal with.

On departure day we set out on tandem ride as usual, zipping down the snowy lanes looking out for wildlife. (I saw a bird of prey capture a vole at one point when I was steering the bike all by myself.) We had completely forgotten about the 05:00am transfer to the airport and our journey home.

Back at the house rented by my mother and JMH we discussed what to do about our missed charter flight. TPR believed that we could make a claim from the tour operator because no notification of departure arrangements had been pushed through our bedroom door the night before. JC, who was also staying with my mother and JMH, suggested that we extend our holiday, arguing that I wouldn’t be missed at the office. Meanwhile I undressed down to my fancy lace underwear and wondered whether it was NB that I could see in the window of the house across the road.

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Poor lavatory location and an inadequate fire alarm (Rousse)

There was no mistake: this bed and breakfast was awful.

How had they got away with positioning a toilet in the tiny dining room, and what use was a fire alarm system that relied on the proprietors shouting ‘Fire, fire’?

TPR and I couldn’t wait to leave, plotting our escape by bike with others from a café table on the main street of Peebles.

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The dangers of tractor detailing (Rousse)

TPR’s new role in life was tractor detailer. I watched him set up a machine for washing. I was very worried that he might accidentally start the tractor engine while underneath it and be crushed to death.

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A close encounter in the shower (Rousse)

I was staying in a big chain hotel with thin walls and communal showers. I declared that I needed to wash my hair and KH (a pal from my undergraduate days) volunteered to assist me. I let him come as far as the shower cubicle, but no further – especially since TPR was due back any minute.

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RyanAir cancels flight then holds customers in airport overnight (Rousse)

The RyanAir flight to London was cancelled and we were forced to stay in the airport overnight until 5:00am. No arguing with NI would persuade the staff to open the doors and let us out – even when I pointed out that I had a report to finish for SE.

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From student accommodation in Sheffield to unwelcome attention in the garden (Rousse)

I left the conference with a PhD student who was also heading north. She offered me a bed for the night in her student house in Sheffield, which I willingly accepted – and then instantly regretted as we walked through the door. It was a long time since I’d encountered over-crowded student accommodation, and I now realised why I had avoided it for so many years.

I asked my companion whether there were any more trains travelling all the way to Edinburgh that evening. There was one at 7pm, which I wouldn’t make, but the 9pm service was a possibility. I caught the latter, very much looking forward to seeing my husband again.

Back in Edinburgh I encountered ED dressed in a black net tutu accessorised with red, fur-lined leg warmers. I enquired about E’s PhD thesis, which was almost complete but not yet submitted. TPR was nowhere to be seen.

I finally tracked down my lord and master at my parents’ house. We hadn’t seen one another for over two weeks so we opted out of the dinner party, leaving SEH in charge of the guests.

I was very cross when the entire party decided that we were required at the dinner table and came looking for us in the garden. The spot that we had taken from the grazing brown cows was surrounded and we had no choice but to give ourselves up, protesting at the invasion of our privacy.

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Aidan Turner signs autographs at the Edinburgh Fringe (Rousse)

Poldark star Aidan Turner was signing autographs in person at an Edinburgh Fringe venue. When I asked HH if she was certain that he was actually there she reminded me of her insider role as wardrobe mistress. The person that she had seen brandishing the pen was the man himself, and not a mere rep from the company.

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An insider’s view of the Edinburgh Fringe (Rousse)

It was Fringe time in Edinburgh but this year was different because I was now one of the organisers. (I actually resented the extra work as committee secretary, and resolved to resign as soon as I was promoted.)

BR and I spent a lot of time in room 7 in the basement of one of the largest multiple Fringe venues. The halls were so big that you could hang your clothes out to dry here without inconveniencing anyone.

In some respects it was fun to be amongst the performers, but I missed TPR in the audience, and AC at the puppet show.

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Trapped in JK Rowling’s producer’s tent (Rousse)

JK Rowling’s TV producer Lisa let me sit in her tent. I was there so long that I got sewn up inside it.

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