Trapped by gunmen in small town USA (Rousse)

Posted on January 6, 2016 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I travelled in two separate cars to the airport and our long-anticipated business class flights home.

As I wondered what to do about the bags of rubbish that I had accumulated on the front seat of my car I lost my concentration, took a wrong turn, and ended up heading away from the terminal. Before I had a chance to correct my mistake I was lost in small town USA without a hope of making our departure gate in time.

I stopped the car in a square and asked a couple of pedestrians if they could give me directions back to the airport. As I suspected, the route was in the direction opposite to the one that I had taken. A further problem was that my car was now surrounded by an armed American teenage gang. If the gunmen had their way, I would never leave town.

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Two chocolate mousses and a trip to Budapest (Rousse)

Posted on January 5, 2016 by Dreamaticus

In her vast farmhouse kitchen (with two modified dishwashers and two fridges) my Cousin B (hair all coiffed) offered us each a chocolate mousse, plus a carton of double cream to share. As she headed out of the door to check into her Travelodge for the evening, I asked TPR where he would like to eat our puddings.

“In carriages 11 and 12”, he replied, meaning the nearby sitting room.

I went through to take a seat on the red sofa amongst the others who were due to attend the wedding later that evening. TPR did not follow, but ate his mousse at the kitchen table instead.

I was very upset that he had abandoned me. I punished him when he returned by refusing to speak to him – until he revealed that he had used our time apart to plan a holiday which included a weekend in Budapest.

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The shrinking sister-in-law (Rousse)

Posted on January 4, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I wore red leather cut-out sandals for the trip to the beach. My sister-in-law SG wore red shorts.

While I acted my age, S pretended that she was a little girl again. She was so successful that by the time we found a spot to sit on the sand she had actually shrank all the way back to the size of an eight year-old.

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How to make a multi-selfie (Rousse)

Posted on January 4, 2016 by Dreamaticus

CC explained how to make a multi-selfie. Quite simply you take several versions of the ‘same’ photo then overlay them all in a single picture.

She then demonstrated the technique with a shot in which she and I were the models.

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Dangerous deletion of Facebook friends (Rousse)

Posted on January 4, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I finally got to the bottom of why XYZ had defriended us all. She had taken offence when a present that she had sent to one of the others was returned to her without explanation.

XYZ had no idea that the intended recipient recently moved house. Her surprise turned to shame when she realised that she had actively lost all her friends on the mistaken assumption that one had refused a gift.

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Breaches in mourning etiquette (Rousse)

Posted on January 3, 2016 by Dreamaticus

Many of the congregation were obviously bored at yet another memorial service. I even saw some relatives of the dead video the proceedings from the upper gallery of the church.

Mourning was not what it used to be.

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Unheeded feedback and the magical properties of water (Rousse)

Posted on January 3, 2016 by Dreamaticus

Once again I was astonished by the versatility of my colleague C. Sitting to the left of me, he chaired Monday’s meeting – while simultaneously presenting his report in person from the other side of the table.

I liked C’s report, but repeated my comment that the section on feedback had too great a focus on feedback to students and not enough on feedback to external examiners. C gave the impression that this was the first time that he had heard this remark, even though we had discussed this issue at length at our pre-meeting on Friday.

During a visit to the ladies’ toilets after my early departure from the meeting I spilt tap water on my khaki trousers. This transformed them into a pair of emerald green elephant cords.

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Lose 13 pounds in a week – on bacon (Rousse)

Posted on January 2, 2016 by Dreamaticus

TB-O leant over at the dinner table to share slimming tips. He explained how he had lost 13lbs in a week on a simple lunchtime diet of hardened paper-thin slices of bacon – and nothing else. To me it all sounded as delicious as feasting on fly paper.

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Edinburgh Player-Slayer peril (Rousse)

Posted on January 2, 2016 by Dreamaticus

The Player-Slayer was on the loose in south Edinburgh.

Runners were warned to be vigilant on the cycle path that connected the Craiglockhart and Merchiston campuses of Edinburgh Napier University. I ensured that I was accompanied whenever I ran this route between meetings.

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Bubble wrapping at the club (Rousse)

Posted on January 1, 2016 by Dreamaticus

It made no sense at all to open a private members’ club for us and the rest of our immediate neighbours at the opposite end of town, but it appeared that we had no choice in the matter.

On my first visit there I found PC cutting up large sections of bubble wrap to cover a series of picture books for his children.

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