The end of the affair (Rousse)

I found TPR dressed in high visibility yellow in the line-up for the cycling road race. I was surprised that he was so willing to step down from his bike when I confronted him. He followed me into the nearby building to hear what I had to say.

The building was richly decorated in red and gold and furnished with artefacts from the Far East. Before I had a chance to tell TPR why I had summoned him we came across another couple who were keen to introduce themselves and tell us about their high-powered jobs. It dawned on us that we had stumbled into a private members’ club for the extremely wealthy. We did not belong here.

Eventually TPR and I found a place for a private conversation. I told him that I knew about his affair, even though I had never met his mistress. I begged him to be discreet with her. He agreed to my request.

However, not long afterwards I met the woman in question. I couldn’t believe that I was sharing my husband with such a pathetic specimen. The affair had to end. I spat in the woman’s tea, then cornered TPR with the demand that he never again travel to the US on business without me. I was determined to end this affair and any other possible future indiscretions.

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Accident prone acquaintances (Rousse)

JS ran a few paces over the highly polished floor, turned a corner, missed her footing, skidded, and fell head first on the hard surface. I ran to her aid, while also dialling 999.

I cradled JS’s head in my arms. It was attached to the rest of her body by a tiny strip of skin. Would she ever recover?

My PhD students were also injured. All but one was sporting a cast of some description, hoping for their broken bones to heal.

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Glistening glamour and finger technique (Rousse)

We passed through the university hospital by train as we travelled to the campus. Everything was beautiful and sparkling in white – from the walls of the structure to the glistening full-length ball gowns of the glamorous reception staff.

On arrival I walked from the station to the main building with a woman whose specialist subject was ‘finger technique’.

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Fruit, vegetables and weight gain (Rousse)

I was sent to the US to teach good eating habits to young adults.

One of my clients was completely clueless. When I finally go through to him that fruit and vegetables were healthy, he failed to understand that the quantity of their consumption also had a bearing on his weight gain.

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Renovating the renovations (Rousse)

My mother-in-law and brother-in-law AG had spend the night side-by-side in single beds in my old bedroom in Birmingham. I asked them how they had slept. All had been fine, but they suggested that we redecorate the room.

It actually wasn’t that long since the bedroom had last been decorated, but we agreed that the finish was not up to scratch. We decided to call the decorator to fix the coving, and to sort out the plastic noise reduction structure just beneath the picture rail.

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When you just have to go (Rousse)

I found GG’s young son naked on the floor outside the bathroom door.

‘I’m desperate’, he said, ‘But JB is in there with medical staff and they won’t let me in’.

I scooped him up and carried him out of the back door. I deposited him on the patio and instructed him ‘You’ll just have to go here instead’.

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A trip to Manchester by ski lift (Rousse)

TPR and I travelled to Manchester by ski lift for him to come out of retirement and take on a short-term consultancy project. It was very odd to see him dressed in a suit once more.

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A love affair denied (Rousse)

I couldn’t believe my luck that this tall (6’7″) dark, handsome man in his twenties was in love with me. The only issue was his refusal to make our relationship public.

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Dog survives 36 hours trapped under car (Rousse)

We drove all the way to Manchester with CM’s dog P trapped underneath the car.

TPR was so busy on arrival setting up business deals (in his suit) that he completely forgot about the dog for a further 24 hours. I reported this to JC, who was appalled (as was her husband GC and their Asian lodger/driver).

It was SL who eventually rescued the poor pooch. Our first priority was to find a tin of dog food and a can opener so that we could feed her.

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A cosmetic surgery suspect (Rousse)

I was pretty sure that TDX had undergone cosmetic surgery. Her front teeth were now a set of neat white pearls set in gummy pink plastic. I also harboured suspicions regarding her lips.

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