Belle and the Bikers

I had unwillingly become part of the Hairy Biker Tourist Team.  We were enjoying looking at great works of art in a sunlit cathedral, but kept getting interrupted by footage of the Hairy Bikers wearing mankinis on the beaches of Brazil.

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Talking donkeys (Rousse)

I had a quick conversation with some donkeys in a field about my forthcoming presentation (as yet unprepared).

Meanwhile TPR was in trouble because (a) it had rained so heavily that water had come through the ceiling of our flat and was now knee deep in our yard, and (b) since we came back from holiday he had been ignoring me in favour of his niece.

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Bathing with a blue bath bomb (Rousse)

EH recommended the spa bath. I didn’t understand its attraction until I added the blue bath bomb to the water.

I was annoyed, however, to discover that I was under observation while I was meant to be relaxing.

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PhD students excel at motor cross conference (Rousse)

My PhD students were at a conference that combined academic studies with motor cross. They had made friends with some of the practitioners with whom I’d had a lot of contact in the past, and taken to the racing track with enthusiasm.

IB called me over just as FR was about to take the wheel.

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Belle’s secret husband (Rousse)

Nobody had ever told me that Belle was once married to my friend NS.

It had only been for a very short time, but from the video of the pair of them dancing at their wedding they both looked very much in love. Whatever happened?

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In the office with Barack Obama and Boris Johnson (Belle)

This new job certainly had its contrasts.  Yes, I was sharing the office with a branch of Marks and Spencer Simply Food that specialised in apricot Danish pastries – hooray.  Yes, Barack Obama had a desk on the other side of the room.  But how could I not be brought down by the fact that Boris Johnson was also sharing my office?   He spent most of his days loudly proclaiming how common I was to anyone who would listen.

One morning I was mistakenly accused of shoplifting my apricot Danish.  Naturally Boris Johnson, failed to step in – despite the fact that I had the receipt in my hand and the CCTV footage clearly showed me paying.  When Barack Obama stepped in to defend me, Johnson performed a ‘joke’ Nazi salute.  Later I received a small card that said “Well I like you, Belle”.  It was signed POTUS.  I debated whether I should post a photo of the card onto Facebook and my story about Boris to Twitter, but decided against both.

Later, while sitting outside in the courtyard, I witnessed a gang of thieves wearing silver New Romantic face-paint dump their shoes behind a bush.  This could be a clue!

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Intern adventures include Lord of the Rings team-building exercise on horseback #LOTR

I started my placement at an office that was just a five minute walk from my flat. I wasn’t the only intern: three pupils from Drummond High School had also been taken on by the firm. I found these children to be very lazy. One of the fathers transported them to and from work in a taxi.

MLX was also employed by the firm, apparently as a full-time consultant. She confided in me that she had given up her studies. I couldn’t be certain that she had informed ZCY of this bold move.

I found it quite difficult to work in the open plan office because it was so noisy. In addition, it seemed that most employees weren’t very interested in their work. Instead they preferred to sit about and eat biscuits.

On my first afternoon there was a team-building exercise on horseback. The activity was based on trekking scenes from Lord of the Rings. I made it known that I was not happy with this arrangement when there was so much work to do back at the office. Nevertheless, I still participated, and did particularly well in a mock fight with one of the others.

When the weekend came I resisted the temptation to slope off with the man that I fancied at my new workplace. Instead I stayed at home to watch GW deliver lectures in Swedish (with subtitles).

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Helicopter rescue for fashion disaster (Rousse)

I was really struggling with my work wardrobe. Everything I liked was unsuitable; everything suitable I disliked. Meanwhile my sister J was having much more success – largely because she had gone on a shopping spree before the start of term and had a bought a wide selection of checked shirts.

I finally settled on a cream suit, but my troubles didn’t end there. I got lost travelling from one campus to the other. Then my clothes disappeared. I did my best to use my hair as a gown, but it wasn’t quite long enough. My only hope of rescue was a US military helicopter.

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Special services for ladies of a certain age (Rousse)

JTX and his partner set up a business to deliver special services to ladies of a certain age. I was astonished (yet delighted) that a couple of gay guys would be so expert in their new metier.

My only criticism was that they should have closed the conservatory door when in action. I wondered if this display of their talents to the neighbours was part of their marketing strategy.

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Neighbours banned from local ‘cinema’ (Rousse)

Now that I had more time to myself I was determined to improve our living arrangements.

First I would find a long antique dining table for the unused space in the inner hall. Then I was going to stop our neighbours using our downstairs television room as their local cinema.

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