This new job certainly had its contrasts. Yes, I was sharing the office with a branch of Marks and Spencer Simply Food that specialised in apricot Danish pastries – hooray. Yes, Barack Obama had a desk on the other side of the room. But how could I not be brought down by the fact that Boris Johnson was also sharing my office? He spent most of his days loudly proclaiming how common I was to anyone who would listen.
One morning I was mistakenly accused of shoplifting my apricot Danish. Naturally Boris Johnson, failed to step in – despite the fact that I had the receipt in my hand and the CCTV footage clearly showed me paying. When Barack Obama stepped in to defend me, Johnson performed a ‘joke’ Nazi salute. Later I received a small card that said “Well I like you, Belle”. It was signed POTUS. I debated whether I should post a photo of the card onto Facebook and my story about Boris to Twitter, but decided against both.
Later, while sitting outside in the courtyard, I witnessed a gang of thieves wearing silver New Romantic face-paint dump their shoes behind a bush. This could be a clue!