Dreamaticus

When we sent off for the offer we understood that we would receive a large Friends poster in which each of us would take the position of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. Instead, we received six almost-identical prints on which all six stars of the show were depicted. The photo that we had supplied was inexpertly grafted on to the end of the shot. We had been conned.

The accommodation that the six of us had booked was also not as advertised. We were boxed up in a single bedroom with no access to a bathroom.

I eventually escaped (on my own) into a huge shopping mall. Here I found the reception area for the conference.

Just as I was about to register for the event a small truck pulled up beside me. Trapped in a cage at the back, and dressed from head to toe in pink, was a grown woman with blond pigtails. When her captor let her out she forced her way through an iron gate and scampered up the drive of a stately home. I could not tell whether she was ‘for real’, or simply acting out a fantasy as a fairytale princess.