Category Archives: Uncategorized

Police raid results in broken milk jug, broken heart (Belle)

Posted on March 7, 2022 by Dreamaticus

I ran down the stairs from the top bedroom to make C a cup of tea and spotted two dark figures looming outside the glass front door. When I opened the door two police officers, drenched from the rain, angrily … Continue reading →

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Timber frost danger (Rousse)

Posted on March 7, 2022 by Dreamaticus

My entire immediate family crowded into the garden shed for my brother-in-law to pass judgement on the tiny defect in the wood above the door frame. ‘Bad news, I’m afraid’, he said. ‘This is frost damage. Your shed is falling … Continue reading →

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Cyclops cow (Rousse)

Posted on March 6, 2022 by Dreamaticus

I’d never met such a friendly cow before. She was a brown and white Jersey with enormous long-lashed eyes, sporting the softest strokeable cattle coat. Her willingness to be petted was quite extraordinary – as was the her third eye, … Continue reading →

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Fun and games with trains (Rousse)

Posted on March 4, 2022 by Dreamaticus

I needed to reach Liverpool by 13:15 for a meeting. At 12:30 I jumped on the first train that I saw at Edinburgh’s Waverley Station, assuming that it was a London service that called at Leeds. I was right in … Continue reading →

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In-law problems (Rousse)

Posted on March 3, 2022 by Dreamaticus

We’d driven several long uncomfortable miles to the huge (but somewhat crowded) beach, so it was a relief to finally end our journey. However, my mother-in-law was not happy. There appeared to be something wrong with her towel. It took … Continue reading →

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Upmarket afternoon tea in Stockbridge (Rousse)

Posted on February 27, 2022 by Dreamaticus

The Stockbridge salon owner tried to scuttle away when I walked in, but I made sure that she could not ignore me. She managed to squeeze out a chilly acknowledgement, then left me to one of her staff. I had … Continue reading →

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Naked karaoke (Rousse)

Posted on February 27, 2022 by Dreamaticus

Naked karaoke was all the rage. Hordes of people queued for the chance to perform in a special booth. TPR was always the first in line, keen to flaunt his body at any opportunity.

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Treasures of Ophelia and the Brontë sisters (Rousse)

Posted on February 26, 2022 by Dreamaticus

‘This is our sculpture of Ophelia’, I announced proudly, pointing at a pile of weed in a dirty stream. ‘And behind us, under that hillock, Jane Austen buried a relic of the Brontë sisters’. My new colleagues were either genuinely … Continue reading →

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Bill Murray, boob man (Belle)

Posted on February 23, 2022 by Dreamaticus

Located in a massive mountain lodge, I was working at the ‘industry event of the year’. It was my job to make sure the booze and the conversations flowed freely. I ran around all night, breaking my previous Fitbit records. … Continue reading →

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University fairground attraction with lemon drizzle cake (Rousse)

Posted on February 23, 2022 by Dreamaticus

I panicked when I first arrived at work because I thought that I had forgotten to pack my trousers. It was such a relief to find them at the bottom of my bag, and be able to dress for a … Continue reading →

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