Category Archives: Uncategorized

Storms and vandals in Seaton Carew (Rousse)

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Three vandals bleached sections of the Fiat’s paintwork for a laugh. I caught one of them at it and dragged him home to confess his crime to his sister FD. FD lived with her sons and ancient mother in a … Continue reading →

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Bike transport by plane: how much will it cost? (Rousse)

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was very kind of my Canadian cousins to send me off with the gift of two white bicycles (one complete with trailer shopping basket), but how would I persuade the airline to carry them in the hold, and just … Continue reading →

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Postman in shorts steals Belle’s heart

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

As soon as I saw him in his ‘Smart Chav’ label beige shorts, I realised that the postman was the new love of my life.  Excited and blushing, I filled the kettle to make him a cup of tea while … Continue reading →

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Dress alteration with a paperclip (Rousse)

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I recruited TM to help me choose my dress for the party. I eventually settled on the sea green Didier D ball gown that I’d recently bought on George Street. The only problem was that the hook and eye on … Continue reading →

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A canine sleeping companion (Rousse)

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Perhaps SC had lent him to me? How else could I explain why B the wee dog was lying next to me asleep in bed?

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Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse)

Posted on May 28, 2012 by Dreamaticus

We all knew that BB had been working on something rather special. I was excited to be the first to discover the output of his secret project. BB unlocked the massive door to the St Andrew Square house and I … Continue reading →

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NHS equipment failure and a biked-themed party (Rousse)

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Dreamaticus

My dermatologist was becoming increasingly frustrated with the radio next to my hospital bed. He’d turn it off, then two minutes later BBC Radio 4 would spring back to life again. I protested that it wasn’t my responsibility. The radio … Continue reading →

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A sticky, smelly end (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

They’d already murdered the brigadier and now it was my turn. They dragged me down the country track to the enormous sewage container tank. This was it then. I was going to die a very dirty death. The main villain … Continue reading →

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Werewolves infiltrate British police force (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was hard to believe that my companion knew nothing of the court case. It had been all over the media for weeks. I pointed out the main characters from our vantage point in the public gallery and tried to … Continue reading →

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An unfortunate house guest (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I’d turned their spare bedroom into a teenage tip and now I’d managed to destroy the whole plumbing system by attempting to hand-wash a hanky. As I pulled the sitting room basin away from the wall, torrents of cold water … Continue reading →

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