Author Archives: Dreamaticus

New efficient technique for unwanted hair removal (Rousse)

Posted on April 2, 2018 by Dreamaticus

SM’s new party trick was to half-swallow a wire, lodge it in his throat, use it to grasp the hairs outside on his neck from the inside, pull the hairs through the skin, and bring them back out of his … Continue reading →

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A mistaken victim of a murderous niece (Rousse)

Posted on April 1, 2018 by Dreamaticus

They thought that they had found the (whole) body of my aunt. This was impossible. After the murder I had disposed of the corpse very carefully, cut it into many pieces, and distributed them over several sites. This was clearly … Continue reading →

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A graffiti grudge (Rousse)

Posted on March 31, 2018 by Dreamaticus

We knew that something was wrong as soon as we emerged from our bedroom and walked into the hall. Someone had broken into our flat and scrawled messages in silver ink on the carpet. In the kitchen similar graffiti covered … Continue reading →

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A wasted wedding day in Edinburgh (Rousse)

Posted on March 31, 2018 by Dreamaticus

This had to be the most boring and short-lived wedding celebration of all time. Although some of my most interesting school friends were amongst the guests (including JB and GB, now a married couple themselves), TPR and I were sitting … Continue reading →

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Encounters with chartered surveyors (Rousse)

Posted on March 31, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I had encounters with two chartered surveyors on the same day. The first – RA – spoke to me of his ‘elephantine’ features as contrasted with my ‘beauty’ as he walked me to a tube station in London. I did … Continue reading →

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A deadly bed and breakfast (Rousse)

Posted on March 30, 2018 by Dreamaticus

It must have been cold in Susan Morrison’s bed and breakfast because TPR was wearing JH’s woollen beanie hat in bed (while JH slept on the floor beside us). It was a dangerous trek across the field to breakfast the … Continue reading →

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Is Dr Who to blame for a shrinking world? (Rousse)

Posted on March 28, 2018 by Dreamaticus

When the elevator doors opened I was disappointed to see that the lift was minuscule. How would we all fit in there? ‘Just go in one at a time’ my colleague suggested. It was clear that she could not see … Continue reading →

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Tea with President Trump (Rousse)

Posted on March 27, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I foolishly agreed to take tea with President Trump during his official visit to the UK. However, there was some question as to whether or not I would make it to our date. My mode of transport was my mother’s … Continue reading →

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Hugh Grant purchases train ticket in public (Rousse)

Posted on March 26, 2018 by Dreamaticus

There was Hugh Grant at the station ticket booth chatting with railway staff on the same day that I was trying to make arrangements for a trip to London with DTJ and KJ. I knew that Hugh Grant had met … Continue reading →

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Bubble wrap tests for athlete’s foot (Belle)

Posted on March 26, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I was given a playing card sized piece of bubble wrap and shown how to use it to test for athlete’s foot (I didn’t  have it) and to measure sugar consumption (I had eaten way too much mousse and needed … Continue reading →

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