Hotel holds guest’s underwear hostage (Rousse)

AH, CS, NY and SY pulled up outside the house bang on time at 3pm.

‘Look what we’ve brought!’ showed off AH, as he dragged two life-size cardboard cut-outs of me and TPR into the house. Each with a mop of blue woollen hair, they weren’t very realistic.

Meanwhile I had a mission to accomplish. I’d left all my underwear in a French hotel. I set off to collect it by bus on my own, but was soon joined by JG and BV. The former declared his undying love to me, and the latter tagged along to help with any interpretation needs.

Having battled through the snow and a bar packed with holiday-makers and their luggage, I was within reach of my hotel room when the proprietor refused admission along the corridor. I pleaded to be let through – not least so that I could cover my bare corsage – but my requests were ignored.

It was not until I threatened to report the theft of my left belongings that I was finally reunited with them. Then I returned to the village and caught the bus home again, with the besotted JG still in my wake.

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