Tag Archives: television

A mother’s secret career and further clues of the Baby Ted graveyard (Rousse)

The party of external examiners included an elderly man from Sheffield University, a woman from Loughborough, and a dark-haired systems librarian called Mike Hirst. They all seemed friendly enough although none were interested enough to acknowledge (or perhaps question) who … Continue reading

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Prime-time reality TV botanic bonus (Rousse)

I was the star of a prime-time reality TV show. Cut off from the rest of the world as the team leader of six adventurers, I was only allowed one short walkie-talkie call with my family over the course of … Continue reading

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Poor high street sales strategy spotted on a quest for lip salve (Rousse)

My shopping list was short. All I needed was a small tin of lip salve. I crossed the urban motorway that lay between the conference hotel and the mall and headed first for LIDL. Although there were many customers inside … Continue reading

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Russell Brand? No, Russell Grant (Belle)

Russell Grant’s costume was one of the most daring ever seen on Strictly Come Dancing. His underpants had been embroidered in sparkling lurex columns ‘Vote Russell’. While the crowd applauded I called out to someone in the kitchen. “Come and … Continue reading

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Streisand marries Nolte – and Palin! (Belle)

I was awake all night. How fortunate then that a television set had mysteriously appeared at the foot of the bed. I was able to watch two full feature films. In the first, Barbra Streisand was married to Nick Nolte. … Continue reading

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Belle ‘bottles’ Great British Bake Off

Newly released from prison, I had unexpectedly made it to the semi-finals of The Great British Bake Off. And now here I was, trying to knead dough on a cluttered work surface in C’s kitchen. It was my first visit … Continue reading

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Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)

I was astonished to learn that my best friend’s boyfriend was taking me to Judge Judy’s court for non-payment of a yoga class fee. I burst into his hotel room and told him, in a stream of obscenities, exactly what … Continue reading

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Belle the gangsters’ moll

It was the 1920s and I had infiltrated a notorious gang operating from barges on the canals of south east London. They had early mobile technology, years ahead of its time, which involved carrying around television monitors. By the end … Continue reading

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Belle’s knickers exposed

I was eating breakfast at the conference hotel when my eye was drawn to the programme broadcasting live on the television screens. The young presenter was rummaging through my bedroom and holding up my underwear to the camera.

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Gywneth Paltrow and Chris Martin discuss kids’ future against the changing backdrop of the Outer Hebrides (Rousse)

For a change we travelled to the guest house across the mountains on foot. This was quite a departure from our usual means of transport, normally tandem over the single-track roads. As the route became steeper and steeper we marvelled … Continue reading

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