Tag Archives: Jordan

Big knickers for Katie Price and her pal (Rousse)

Posted on September 19, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I helped Katie Price and another glamour model shop for big knickers.

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Katie Price to marry again (Rousse)

Posted on July 18, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (AKA Jordan) was marrying for the fifth (or was it sixth?) time, and I was the guest of honour at her celebrations at the Bristol hotel – much to the annoyance of her tarty chief bridesmaid.

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Katie Price is a patchwork of plastic surgery (Rousse)

Posted on February 9, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I joined Katie Price and Peter Mandelson as an extra on a film set in Edinburgh. Up close Katie Price looked terrible. Her face was a patchwork of plastic surgery and the reconstruction of her teeth barely disguised.

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Katie Price takes to the water prior to speaking engagement in Liverpool (Rousse)

Posted on August 11, 2016 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (aka Jordan) and I lapped the swimming pool together. I wondered whether (her) fake boobs behaved differently from the real thing (mine) when in water, but from my vantage point it was not possible to tell, and I … Continue reading →

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Katie Price returns to work as earnings drop (Rousse)

Posted on January 15, 2014 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (AKA Jordan) was offering her services as a beautician at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. “Why would anyone with your wealth be waxing other people’s legs?” I asked her. “I only earn £300,000 a year”, she replied as she called … Continue reading →

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Katie Price hunts for husband number 8 (Rousse)

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Dreamaticus

When Katie Price (Jordan) planned to marry for the 8th time, I was appointed her chief advisor. Read about Katie Price’s other antics on Dreamaticus: Ramon Marquez stars as Jordan in birthday biopic (Rousse) Jordan spotted “snogging” mystery hunk (Rousse) … Continue reading →

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Jordan heart attack scare (Rousse)

Posted on August 22, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (aka Jordan) worked as a member of my house clearance swat team. On this day we faced our biggest challenge yet: a secret mission to my parents’ house where we would sort out all their belongings. The actual … Continue reading →

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Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse)

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price (aka Jordan) was my new, self-appointed, right-hand woman. She accompanied me to all my speaking engagements, often with her two younger children Junior and Princess. On this occasion I was delivering a keynote paper on computer security at … Continue reading →

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Jordan spotted “snogging” mystery hunk (Rousse)

Posted on March 5, 2011 by Dreamaticus

Katie Price was the last person that I expected to see at a banquet on a remote Scottish island. She looked terrible from close quarters: overweight with yellowing teeth, luminous hair extensions and orange skin. Undeterred, she’d brought along some … Continue reading →

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Ramona Marquez stars as Jordan in birthday biopic (Rousse)

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Dreamaticus

The investment in TF’s birthday celebrations at the Edinburgh Playhouse was phenomenal. LF and I watched the unfolding spectacle of music, drama and dance over the course of several nights from our seats high up at the back of the … Continue reading →

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