Dreamaticus

Although I was yet to admit it, our marriage had long been dead. My husband, kind to the end, was simply waiting for me to form another relationship before raising the question of how we could untangle ourselves from almost 30 years of attachment.

At last this time had come. I finally recognised that I was falling in love with someone we had both known for a while. This skinny young lad who had initially been of no interest to me whatsoever was an Adonis! Now I was eagerly planning a rendez-vous with him in the hall cupboard. He was just as keen.

Afterwards we emerged on to the street, where we found my husband and the girls playing hopscotch in the snow. The neighbours complained about the level of noise, especially since it was now 11pm at night, but the girls (evidently drunk) just laughed even louder.

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It was my job to help the big American to settle into his new role at the University. I came up with a plan that we take a peripatetic approach to project work. We would complete each stage in a different part of the building, sitting beside whoever else we found there.

It worked brilliantly, and soon our new colleague knew the names of many staff and students. Meanwhile I showed off my genius at mental arithmetic, accurately adding up flipchart figures faster than anyone else. I was a human spreadsheet!

The only problem with our public trek around the campus were regular interruptions by students who demanded help with writing references. It crossed my mind that I could have built an entire career around my talent for APA and Harvard style.