A canine sleeping companion (Rousse)

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Perhaps SC had lent him to me? How else could I explain why B the wee dog was lying next to me asleep in bed?

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Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse)

Posted on May 28, 2012 by Dreamaticus

We all knew that BB had been working on something rather special. I was excited to be the first to discover the output of his secret project.

BB unlocked the massive door to the St Andrew Square house and I followed him in. Inside the vast space was not the computer lab that I expected, but a huge gallery. On plinths at the centre were animated sparkling silver holograms of members of the royal family, dead and living. I walked over to a young Queen Victoria and struck up a conversation, while Queen Elizabeth II looked on, eager to join us. This was the most amazing application of computer technology I had ever seen.

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NHS equipment failure and a biked-themed party (Rousse)

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Dreamaticus

My dermatologist was becoming increasingly frustrated with the radio next to my hospital bed. He’d turn it off, then two minutes later BBC Radio 4 would spring back to life again. I protested that it wasn’t my responsibility. The radio was not mine, but issued by the hospital. We eventually worked out that there were five switches to turn to “off” for any chance of an uninterrupted conversation.

Later that day I saw my dermatologist again. He accepted my invitation to come to our bike-themed party and turned up in tight cycling shorts.

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A sticky, smelly end (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

They’d already murdered the brigadier and now it was my turn. They dragged me down the country track to the enormous sewage container tank. This was it then. I was going to die a very dirty death.

The main villain threw me in and they all laughed as I sank into the stinking vat of human waste.

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Werewolves infiltrate British police force (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was hard to believe that my companion knew nothing of the court case. It had been all over the media for weeks. I pointed out the main characters from our vantage point in the public gallery and tried to fill him in on the story so far in a succession of low whispers.

“It’s fine”, he whispered back, “I don’t need to know every detail. Please just let me pick it up as we go along.”

“OK”, I replied, “But I have to tell you now that those aren’t really police officers giving evidence. All three are werewolves”.

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An unfortunate house guest (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I’d turned their spare bedroom into a teenage tip and now I’d managed to destroy the whole plumbing system by attempting to hand-wash a hanky. As I pulled the sitting room basin away from the wall, torrents of cold water came pouring through the ceiling. C ran upstairs to find the source of the flood, while A looked on in despair.

Eventually help arrived in the form of a bespectacled cub scout. I doubted that I would ever be invited back to Market Harborough.

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Records management, referencing, and ripping off airline passengers (Rousse)

Posted on May 25, 2012 by Dreamaticus

This “executive briefing” was little more than a run-through of basic records management principles. The sharp-suited speaker was full of confidence when he declared that everything that you ever needed to know could be summarised in 35 minutes. He was wrong. What was more, pages numbers were missing from the entries in the neat reference list that he proudly displayed to the class at the end of his PowerPoint presentation.

Later when I checked in online for my flight home I was fooled into paying another £123 for my seat. My error was to tick the box for “yes” in response to the question “Would you like to sit next to a nice person on the plane?”

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Novel bruise treatment offered by physiotherapist (Rousse)

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Dreamaticus

GMcM, who I hadn’t seen for over a decade, kindly asked me to his birthday party. Even better, he also invited a bunch of my girlfriends, all from different stages of my life. They included ECM from primary school, my colleague VAE from the 1990s, and my friend from work SC.

I was keen to have an opportunity to introduce all my friends to one another. However, it looked like ECM would steal all the limelight when she started fussing over a bruise on her bottom. We were saved this distraction when a physio wielded a data stick in her general direction and instantly cured the complaint.

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A happy drive and unsuitable dress for a punk gig (Rousse)

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I snuggled up to JM on the back seat as our chauffeur drove us to the venue. It was so wonderful to be in my friend’s company again.

When we finally reached the gig we found TPR and my two colleagues AC and BP. TPR was desperate for the punk band to take the stage. The others looked completely out of place, especially BP who had arrived straight from work and was wearing a suit.

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A surprise baby (Belle)

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I was very much surprised to see former colleague L with a baby. I was even more astounded by her explanation that she had got pregnant “on the Internet”.

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