Glenn Close, knowledge management, and an over-committed academic (Rousse)

“Glenn Close, of course” started the speaker. I was relieved that the programme was underway, even though I had no idea what Glenn Close had to do with knowledge management.

“Have you any idea what time it is?” my sister snarled at me under her breath, tugging at my sleeve to drag me back to the hall’s entrance.

The hands on my watch had not moved since they last time I looked about an hour earlier, so I knew that it couldn’t possibly be 19:05. A quick glance round the hall told me that much of the food and drink had already been consumed, and the woman on stage was not the first of the evening. I guessed it must be about 21:00. When JMH announced it was 20:20, I was actually quite relieved: I was only an hour and twenty late. Of course she didn’t see it that way. She and my mother had come to the event as my supposed guests, but ended up running the show because my time management was so poor.

Time management was not the issue. Rather it was time per se. I had had so many commitments that day from lending gym gear to a deprived immigrant student to a meeting at the office of The Economist. When you were in as much demand as me, something was bound to give.

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A generous death (Rousse)

I was calculating how much work to pack. The train journey to Aberdeen took three hours, and the return trip the same. If we sat together, I would probably spend much of the time chatting with CI and ET. However, we didn’t have seats booked, so we could end up far apart, even in completely different carriages. In that case, I would need plenty to entertain me, and certainly more material that I had already stored in my rucksack.

I told CI to wait for me while I dashed back up to the library to collect the book that I had put on reserve. She assured the others that I would easily be back in time to catch the train.

However, I was waylaid on my way to the library by a slim, dark-haired sportswoman called Rachel. She persuaded me to act as her target while she practised shooting spears and catapults. I would certainly die for the cause, but Rachel was generous enough to let me choose the coloured cards that would be sent out to announce my departure from this world.

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An unacceptable iPhone alternative (Rousse)

Fed up with enduring my moans about the inadequacies of iPhone 3, ET popped out and bought me a replacement. It was small, sleek and slim, and cost only £28. However, it was not an iPhone, and I could not accept it.

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St Andrews discovery “as historically important as the Stone of Scone” (Rousse)

Following extensive research, CI and I discovered in St Andrews a lump of stone that was as important to Scottish history as the Stone of Scone.

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Husband is master of disguise (Rousse)

I was finding it hard work entertaining our dinner guests when TPR kept disappearing from the table for long periods of time. He would have enjoyed the company of my school friend MG, if only they had been there simultaneously.

Towards the end of the meal, when I asked TPR what was going on (and whether he was avoiding MG), he confessed that MG had not been with us. Rather, TPR had been conducting an experiment: whenever we thought MG was at the table, it was actually TPR in disguise. I had to admit that my husband’s act had been very convincing.

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Go go girls, boyfriends, puppets, and Hootsuite (Rousse)

After a full day at a conference I was now expected to chair a doctoral colloquium, but I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open – and I really needed to do so because:

  1. I had to introduce the slightly more outgoing ST to his shyer, earlier version
  2. I wanted to tell KS my idea for a puppet show routine based around “Let’s do it”
  3. I was keen to keep track of my new boyfriend DC (Had he been sleeping with go go girls?)
  4. I had to learn a replacement for Hootsuite
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Alternative careers for engineers, and vile furniture (Rousse)

Why didn’t anyone tell AA and his fellow engineers that a switch of career from academia to retail at their stage of life was an idiotic idea?

I left them to it, found TPR, and spent the rest of the afternoon in the bedroom of a dull suburban house of a woman I barely knew. I didn’t like her taste in 1970s brown-striped easy chairs and sofas.

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Tour of the hotspots of Hartburn misses the White House (Rousse)

As the bus came down Greens Lane I considered pointing out Hartburn Primary School, but I wasn’t convinced that my fellow passengers would be interested.

At the T junction we turned right on to Darlington Road, then first left into Hartburn Village. The bus stopped at the corner and we all disembarked. I walked up Darlington Road with JH. Recently widowed, and somewhat disabled following his stroke, he had come to Stockton to meet his new girlfriend. They had met on a dating web site and this would be their first face-to-face encounter. I wished him luck while resisting the temptation to tell him how ECM thought that the sign in the grounds of Elmwood Community Centre read “Trespassers will be executed” (rather than prosecuted).

Within minutes we were in the open countryside. I had been so deep in conversation that I had missed the White House as we passed by it.

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To St Andrews by tandem to sample the sherry (Rousse)

I had to get to one-day conference in St Andrews where, I was warned, the presentations would be a waste of time, but I could enjoy many different varieties of sherry.

TPR and I travelled part of the way there by tandem. Things got tricky when the back end of the bike became detached from the front. Although I could still pedal along quite happily, I had no brakes. I was forced to slam my wellington-booted feet into the tarmac to slow myself down at traffic lights.

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Standing stones stand-off: Exmoor versus Edinburgh (Rousse)

The signs in the bog noted that the moorland belonged to AJ. Wasn’t she a friend of DT? This was perhaps why DT and KJ spent so much time on Exmoor?

TPR drove the car over the rough ground so that he could get us as close as possible to the standing stones. They were not as impressive as one was led to believe. Indeed we wondered why DT and KJ bothered to travel so far when there was a stone circle in perfect condition on Bruntsfield Links in Edinburgh, easily accessible from Morningside Road.

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