Hugh Grant lookalike in tattoo trouble (Rousse)

I was furious with TPR. Taking advantage of his ‘Hugh Grant with muscles’ good looks, he was breaking hearts left, right and centre (including my own). He also thought nothing of mutilating his torso with a random set of inky tattoos.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hull is a hanky panky hotspot (Rousse)

TPR’s muscles were a source of fascination for the slim, dark teenager on the boat. I left them sitting together on the bench on the deck as we came into dock in Newcastle.

When we arrived TPR looked a bit sheepish. Did he have something to confess? Apparently not on this occasion, but there was something that had been on his mind for some time. He reminded me of the evening in Hull when he made T shirts for the performers at two comedy and music gigs that we attended. He’d slept with S that night. C knew, but didn’t seem to mind.

Now I understood why TPR was spending so much time with S these days.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The new Saturday night star (Rousse)

Since her operation AP had gone from strength to strength. Her singing career was really taking off these days, especially now that she had secured the prime-time Saturday night slot on BBC1.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A useless sabbatical, a stray student, and a delicious brand of cell phone (Rousse)

My boss pass me a typed sheet of paper. This stated that I had been granted a sabbatical between 29th April and 31st August 2015. It was already the end of June. What use was this to me?

Then the students started hassling me. One told me that although he had missed nearly all the classes, he would still take the exam. He was confident that he would pass the module because he had downloaded all the PowerPoint presentations and JB had offered to go through the material with him on a flight to the US. I had my doubts that this strategy would work.

Feeling fed up, I bit into my Blackberry as I took off along Edinburgh’s Princes Street. It was surprisingly delicious: a combination of chocolate and caramel.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The most famous family in Hastings (Rousse)

We were all guests of BC, her husband G, 11 year-old Z and toddler N. Their house near Hastings was tiny: B and G gave up their bedroom so that TPR could have their bed. (They would sleep on the sofa with N.) It must have been around the time of N’s birthday because my father sent him a beautiful hand-painted card.

In the evening we all watched television together. It was a bit of a squash, especially when C the dog took it upon himself to wrap his warm furry body around my neck. We also found it rather peculiar that a series of strangers came to the window to look in at us from outside.

Z explained that this was the way that the locals entertained themselves. Until his parents put up some curtains, the whole family had to put up with this.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Inconveniences of hotel life (Rousse)

TPR and I were living in a hotel. This was not as glamorous as it sounded. For example, although the hotel had a pool, it was unheated and outdoors, and whenever I used it I risked drowning.

It was also very impractical to live here and get any work done. This was largely due to the lack of space in our bedroom.

So each day I headed off to the public library to write. This strategy, however, had its own problems. The first was the the entrance to the library was almost inaccessible. It was a long drop down a basement without steps or a ramp. You had to take your life in your hands each time you jumped into the entrance pit. Once in position I did my best to help tiny 3 foot tall skeletal pensioners, who all suffered from brittle bone disease, by lifting them down to the reading room.

I also suffered the height of embarrassment when my class saw me trying to hide my naked body behind a coat rack.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A superhero in a silk top (Rousse)

The knife sliced through DT’s blue and black silk top and into her skin – but I knew that she would survive because we’d been through this before.

Cowering on the bed in the corner, I predicted correctly DT would turn on her attacker and strike him down with a single blow to his midriff. Then we would be safe again.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A menagerie and a monument (Rousse)

My mother had done a great job with the garden. All the pets were happily installed in large runs, the chickens loved their coop, and the hedgehogs were so settled that they forgot their shyness. The only (very minor) problem was that you had to watch where you put your feet to avoid the goose droppings on the lawn.

My sister S took us on a short walk from the garden up the hill to the stone ledge from where there was a fantastic view of the valley.

‘That’s what I posted on Facebook’ she told us, pointing to the ancient stone tomb below us.

It was astonishing that we had never before noticed this neolithic masterpiece on our doorstep.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hotel blues (Rousse)

I’d been away from home for over a week and was thoroughly sick of life in a hotel room. What made it worse was that the hotel was within a huge American-style shopping mall, so it felt like I never saw the light of day.

One day I hurt myself really badly when I caught my toe in the lift door on my way back to my room on the eighth floor.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hebridean pursuits: cycling, flying, and wildlife (Rousse)

We met the French cyclists when they came off the North Uist ferry. Exhausted and soaked, they were not happy tourists. We agreed that the Hebridean weather was not the easiest and, as illustration, I demonstrated how I could launch myself into the wind to make little flights over the single track road.

Afterwards the weather cleared up and we took our new friends to the beautiful bay. Here, at high tide, a multitude of exotic wildlife – including a talented school of dolphins – performed in the water.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment