Dreamaticus

Aidan Turner met my sister J over a game of Pictionary, and now they were a couple. He was the most beautiful man I had ever met. What is more, the Poldark actor was a mathematical genius. He and TPR would be the best of friends.

Aidan also loved dogs. We were soon introduced to his collie, a very mild-mannered creature that wore a subtle black and white knitted dog jacket. I couldn’t wait for Aidan to be my brother-in-law.

Aidan did lack some skills, however. Notably, he was not so familiar with burglar alarms. One day he left me stranded in the hall of my parents’ house with warning lights flashing everywhere. I had to phone my mother at the dentist to ask her to come home and fix everything.

My mother returned as soon as she could. She was wearing a beautiful pale green sleeveless chiffon dress. Her red hair was high on her head late 1960s-style, and she wore fashionable glasses from the same era. She really looked fabulous. We asked why she was all dressed up like this. She explained that she had made an effort getting ready that morning because she fancied her dentist.

Then a message came through from my other sister. At last she had found out why X had not been on Facebook for so long. She and her partner Y had made a death pact. Their families had recently been informed that the bodies could be found in Solihull.