School reunion dress disaster (Rousse)

Posted on September 4, 2015 by Dreamaticus

In my enthusiasm to share my expert knowledge of sanitary products with my former classmates, I forgot to pack a dress for the school reunion.

Our hostess JB came up with a solution for my dress dilemma: to raid her teenage daughter’s wardrobe on my behalf. I followed her to the bedroom where all the clothes that this child had ever worn were crammed into cupboards and drawers. I certainly wouldn’t fit into the toddler garb, but a generous size 10 ballgown might do.

I admired the faded silk arts and crafts rug in the bedroom, as well as the art work on the walls, and the antique furniture, throughout the house. ‘If only I’d married a stockbroker myself, I would also enjoy such luxuries’, I concluded with a touch of regret.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baby kidnap (Rousse)

Posted on September 3, 2015 by Dreamaticus

The second baby that I kidnapped was much better than the first: it kept its nappy dry overnight, it didn’t mind the cold, and it smiled a lot.

Despite this, TPR was still not happy that we were harbouring other people’s ‘lost’ children in our flat. We were bound to be found out sooner or later.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jimmy Savile ‘in hibernation’ (Rousse)

Posted on September 2, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Jimmy Savile was not dead. I learnt this from a tweet in French. It translated as ‘How astonishing that Jimmy Savile has been in hibernation for all this time’.

The tweet was one amongst hundreds collected in a book of top tweets. One sent by my friend WB also featured. Hers was a photograph of swirly blue Play Doh shapes the size of cup cakes with the message ‘I love Joe’.

I was reading the book at the table while EMc was explaining maths puzzles to TPR. Some Canadians (who were holidaying in the UK in a wrecked hire car) listened in.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The cold Yorkshire pudding diet (Rousse)

Posted on September 1, 2015 by Dreamaticus

TPR gave me a hard stare. How was I ever to lose any weight if I helped myself to cold Yorkshire puddings from the canteen whenever it took my fancy?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Belle and Helen Titchener’s dress (Rousse)

Posted on August 31, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Belle wore a long green gown, cut deep at the back, just like newly-wed Helen Titchener’s. I had a good view of it from behind as I followed her into the countryside.

Meanwhile I was worried about my health. I’d been coughing up blood. I asked my LJ-lookalike off-duty doctor friend what to do. She told me to stop bothering her and go to my GP instead.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Checking out New York’s Statue of Liberty (Rousse)

Posted on August 28, 2015 by Dreamaticus

It took some time for me to realise that I had been flown into New York. They’d booked TPR onto a later flight too – and he would almost certainly upgraded to club class. I mentioned to my host that I really should get to know the layout of the city. For example, I couldn’t even be certain that the monument in front of us was the Statue of Liberty.

When we returned home we noticed strange going-ons in our hall. First a little old man was wandering around engaged in gentle exercises. Then EC could be seen masterminding the move of the kitchen table into the hall to set it up for breakfast. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, KT warmed up muffins in the microwave. We witnessed all this from the comfort of the memory foam mattress in our bedroom.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last minute wedding preparations (Rousse)

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Dreamaticus

E was heavily involved in the wedding preparations, organising everything from her tiny flat. She even grew her red hair long for the occasion – or was that a ginger wig she wore with her green gown? When I called round to see how she was getting on she offered me the bath that she had run for me. I declined because it was just as easy for me to get ready at my own house two minutes away.

Amongst the other guests was OC-I, who arrived in Morningside by bicycle. I suggested the Canny Man as a suitable meeting venue for him and R.

My own contribution to the preparations was to help out with the children, including toddler TPR.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Narrow boat holiday negotiations (Rousse)

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Dreamaticus

RG-J was far more excited about her family’s narrow boat holiday than her husband. I couldn’t quite understand her enthusiasm for travelling by canal, especially when she tried – and failed – to demonstrate how to steer a narrow boat around a 90 degree angle.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gordon Brown on a train (Rousse)

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Gordon Brown was my travelling companion on the new fast train service to London. In real life he was much younger and trendier than the ex-Prime Minister I knew from old news reports on the television.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Snogging a smoker (Rousse)

Posted on August 25, 2015 by Dreamaticus

TPR thought that he was dreaming when KT climbed into bed with us and leant over to kiss him. I nudged him in the ribs and told him to stop. He’d regret it in the morning. He told me later in the bathroom (where we were trying to find some privacy ourselves) that snogging a smoker was not a pleasant experience.

The next day we set off along the Rue de Rivoli to meet VJ at a new friend’s house. The street was so crowded that I lost TPR almost as soon as we left. Once again I was extremely annoyed that he refused to carry his mobile phone on him at all times.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment