Vinyl comeback Queen in Kendal (Rousse)

Queen of the dance floor KA decided that it was time to change the music. She marched up to the small household record player and placed a thin vinyl record above another one that was already on the turntable. Then she carefully positioned the needle for play.

I wasn’t sure that this would work, largely because KA’s record was not a complete disc in shape. KA assured me that this was not a problem: modern record players could now cope with recorded music in all shapes and sizes.

Afterwards we wandered through to the main dance area. The party was due to go on until 6:00am, but first they needed to clear the hall of a conference poster session. In the distance we saw NY and SY standing next to a display. We decided to surprise them, as did HW.

Then I kissed the DJ. He an old pal of TPR’s from his dot.com boom days, and now a permanent resident of Kendal.

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Sock adopts a deep voice for TV (Rousse)

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre players were still without a TV contract. Their latest attempt to win one required the right sock to adopt a deep voice and thus be distinguishable from his partner.

My niece A and I watched them test out this strategy in free performance from a shop window.

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Return from the dead in an empty multi-storey car park (Rousse)

BMcK emerged through the gloom of the bottom level of an empty multi-storey car park.

“Go away!” I shrieked. “You’re meant to be dead!”.

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Newspaper gossip (Rousse)

Apparently a national newspaper was about to report what XY-Z said to NP as witnessed by LM. This could get messy.

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A prediction, skewered prawns, and rude remarks about Dame Kelly Holmes (Rousse)

The stranger was astonished when I guessed that he was a city worker who had retired early from a career in finance. I was almost right: he’d spent his entire working life at the Treasury.

After queuing for my food at the buffet table (and waiting for a fresh supply of skewered prawns) I looked around for my new friend. I thought that he would make a good dining companion so hoped to sit with him.

Unfortunately all the places at his table were taken so I took my plate of food to the shoreline. There I could watch the seals in the sunshine as I ate. The hotel proprietor called me straight back from the water’s edge. If I sat there, I’d be swept into the sea as soon as the tide came in.

I now needed to find somewhere else to sit so I wandered over to the tennis umpire’s chair. If I were able to climb up here, this would make a good vantage point.

As I put my foot on the bottom step of the ladder to climb up to the chair I heard some guards make rude remarks about Dame Kelly Holmes.

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House train a puppy in 12 weeks (Rousse)

This was the kind of puppy I liked: small, soft, furry and friendly – and house-trained at 12 weeks.

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Couple transform modest semi into feline zoo with big cat pet collection (Rousse)

P and S sold their place in the country as they moved nearly all their investments out of property. They were now living in a modest 1970s semi on a small housing estate.

P invited a bunch of school friends round to the new house for a small reunion. There were three tables set up in the dining room for a meal. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a big Siamese cat creep to over to my table to eye up our food. I pushed it away, only to see a tiger enter the room!

Before long I had counted six further species of big cat resident at P and S’s house. Their new abode was a feline zoo.

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Assignment deadline mix-up (Rousse)

I was proud of my student who advised the stranger on the street of impending assignment submission deadlines. However, I felt that I had to butt in and say that this sort of enquiry should really be routed to the school office rather than a new friend.

My student took this very badly. She thought that I was being critical of her kindness. This was not my intention at all.

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Advice for a NQT? Don’t go into teaching! (Rousse)

I bumped into my school friend KC (wearing a hideous pale blue fake satin 1980s style ballgown) and her daughter K at a service station on the M5. The daughter explained that she had just finished teacher training. She asked if I could offer her any career advice. “Don’t go into teaching”, I replied.

Towards the end of the conversation I acknowledged that KC was not wearing a wedding ring and that her daughter’s surname was not the same as her own. “That’s because D and I are getting divorced” said KC. “You’ll read more about it in our Christmas newsletter”.

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Karaoke in vest and pants (Rousse)

I joined TPR at the bar as he was paying for a round of drinks. £38 seemed an extortionate amount, and I hadn’t yet added my own order.

At the other side of the bar a screen came to life, then music flooded the room. It was karaoke time!

KA shouted from our table that she wanted to go first. She took to the stage to sing her heart out, neatly dressed in vest and pants.

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