Swimming lessons for six year olds (Rousse)

Posted on May 28, 2016 by Dreamaticus

My 19 year old niece BMc had reverted to a six year old and begged me to take her swimming.

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Masters supervision without Margaret (Rousse)

Posted on May 27, 2016 by Dreamaticus

When I came out of MR’s office I found a Chinese student waiting for me in the corridor. Once we had cleared up whether or not she was Margaret (she was not), I led her to the room that I shared with ST.

Someone had ‘decorated’ our office door with cut-outs of men and women, and with ransom note lettering that indicated that I had sexist male colleagues. We ignored this and joined AA and PC at the table in my room to go through the student’s draft MSc dissertation.

AA annoyed me by hopping from one random page to another and issuing unhelpful comments. I was also cross with the student for copying and pasting someone else’s contents list into her draft work. She thought that with just a few edits she could use this as her own. This, of course, was not acceptable.

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Advice on sexual harrassment at work (Rousse)

Posted on May 26, 2016 by Dreamaticus

XY arrived at work in a foul mood. He huffily dumped his bag and coat in his office. Then he came out to find me in the corridor. He cast me a quick glance, then ran his hands up and down my stockinged legs.

‘That’s better’, he said, then wandered off.

Was I a victim of sexual harrassment at work, or was this just the price of peace? I sought the advice of AJ.

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Car cliff tumble (Rousse)

Posted on May 25, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I was so accident prone that others were avoiding me – but not RG. He boldly climbed into the passenger seat of the Fiat Stilo as I put it into gear to move it to a more suitable parking space.

The spot I chose had a barrier at the end to stop vehicles tumbling down the cliffs below. I instantly lost control of the car and drove straight through the concrete structure.

The car somersaulted through the air and landed as a heap of dead metal on the beach. Thankfully we fell through the windows as the car left the cliff. As we drifted downwards I managed to catch RG in my arms. Our only injury was my broken collar bone caused as I broke RG’s fall.

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Thieving pair steal BMW and wads of cash (Rousse)

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I started our journey on the open air rail system. Seated on the tiny trolley side-by-side we travelled at over 100 miles per hour along the track clutching our small stack of belongings (but not the soap bag, which I had accidentally left at home).

We transferred to our dark blue BMW part-way along the route. It came with a driver, and an additional passenger who took a keen interest in how much cash we were carrying. We failed to read the clues that these two characters were villains.

By the time we knew what was going on our car and cash had been stolen. We were stuck in the middle of nowhere impoverished and without transport.

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A tall, dark, handsome smoker (Rousse)

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Dreamaticus

‘What do you think?’ asked SL, nodding over to the queue of people showing the security guard their passes.

It was unclear whether she was referring to their ridiculous black goth-like outfits, or the idiotic antics of the guard who had abandoned his role of checking IDs for showing off pictures of his grandchildren on his iPhone.

It was neither. SL wanted my opinion of her new boyfriend. Tall, dark and handsome he was a very good looking man, but what a pity that he was a smoker.

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A philanderer and a forgetful wife (Rousse)

Posted on May 23, 2016 by Dreamaticus

When J begged me to sleep with him I asked whether he had been unfaithful to his wife in the past. ‘Several times’ he replied. It appeared that he got up to all sorts of mischief on lads’ weekends away and assumed that I would also be game. I was not.

I didn’t tell his wife about this when I saw her later. Instead I despaired at her woeful skills of organisation. We almost reached the tube system before she realised that she had left my green handbag at her flat and had to go back to fetch it. This meant we wasted Oyster card card credit going in and out the barriers unnecessarily.

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David Schwimmer orthopedic surgeon (Rousse)

Posted on May 23, 2016 by Dreamaticus

David Schwimmer played my on-screen husband. He was Dr Mogul, the famous orthopedic surgeon. The pair of us were also married in real life.

I concluded that it was jealousy that drove a mob to chase the pair of us through a plush private hospital on the day of my back operation. I was in so much pain and had gone through the official channels to be admitted, yet everyone believed that I had used my position as Dr Mogul/David Schwimmer’s wife to jump the queue for treatment.

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Soap wastage (Rousse)

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Dreamaticus

JLW shared our bathroom at the bed and breakfast. She was very annoyed at the waste of soap incurred because the owners issued everyone with a family-sized bar when a smaller one would have been perfectly adequate.

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Angry driver destroys degree show display (Rousse)

Posted on May 20, 2016 by Dreamaticus

We queued for the degree show. This year it was held in the middle lane of a very busy highway. The traffic was forced to a standstill and the drivers were becoming increasingly frustrated.

For one enough was enough. He drew out of the queue and charged straight down the middle lane. He narrowly avoided the students and exhibit visitors, but destroyed the entire display. The students were distraught.

Afterwards I took a taxi with TPR and LM to a meeting with BP. I couldn’t find my work clothes so instead wore a ridiculous red gingham dress with plain black Ecco shoes.

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