Slippery when wet (Rousse)

Posted on July 19, 2016 by Dreamaticus

My mission was to take a credit card to John’s Restaurant, presumably to leave my number to secure a reservation. The route there was treacherous. I clung to a slippery wet rock-face, determined not to fall and injure myself. I was so pleased when I made it to the top.

Afterwards JG and TPR were making rude comments that OC-I appeared not to understand. I felt that it was my duty to explain them. I pulled OC-I under the table where he confessed that he knew exactly what was going on. He didn’t consider that the others’ remarks about bodily fluids and chafing amusing.

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Furniture graffiti (Rousse)

Posted on July 16, 2016 by Dreamaticus

My ten year-old nephew and his little vandal friend treated my grandmother’s sideboard like a school desk.

I was furious. My sister thought I was harsh.

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An ear-less shirt (Rousse)

Posted on July 16, 2016 by Dreamaticus

SL lived in a flat attached to the back of her school. When I visited she showed me a pretty pink patchwork shirt.

‘Where are its ears?’ I asked.

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Taking stock while house training a greyhound (Rousse)

Posted on July 15, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I was spilling stock everywhere: into the sink, onto the worktop, over the floor. It would take hours (for TPR) to clean up the oily mess.

Then we also had to deal with the greyhound puppy.I asked my mother if it had had a good night.

‘Fine apart from the urine’, she replied.

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Funny faces in the Stockton Arms (Rousse)

Posted on July 14, 2016 by Dreamaticus

The Stockton Arms had undergone a dramatic change since I was last a regular sixth former visitor in the early 1980s. The biggest difference was that children were now welcome. All those sitting near to me were very well behaved, the majority looked after by their fathers who were enjoying a pint.

I sat at my table and hand wrote some notes. A man leant over and asked to see what I was doing. I showed him some of the photos glued inside my notebook. He was particularly interested in the shots of my glamorous sisters-in-law. Then I explained who I was, and my connection to the White House.

He found it hard to believe that I was related to JMH – until she turned up and we were able to demonstrate our likeness by pulling funny faces at him.

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Sauna strip-off rip-off (Rousse)

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Dreamaticus

BV paid £7 so that he and I could sit naked together in a Turkish sauna.

This was a complete waste of money. You didn’t have to pay at all if you agreed to keep your swimming costume on.

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Chain mail fashion and the latest currency trend (Rousse)

Posted on July 13, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I was meant to meet EF and KMcL at the Edinburgh Omni Centre for a swim, but I was too embarrassed to walk up Broughton Street in my gaping chain mail mini dressing gown. It was far too revealing: I looked like a prostitute. As things turned out neither of my friends went for a swim after all. EF had had her hair done instead.

Later the three of us dressed in coordinating raspberry red, white and blue outfits, then set off to meet LF. He had promised to take us to a café where you paid using the latest in plastic currencies.

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A tall blonde Australian lover (Rousse)

Posted on July 12, 2016 by Dreamaticus

I joined my tall blonde lover at the other side of the world in Australia. She hoped that I would move there permanently to live out the rest of my years in her homeland.

I wasn’t sure that I could commit to this. Although the coastal scenery was stunning, her driving was terrible. More importantly, I didn’t really fancy her (or any other woman for that matter), and I missed TPR.

Furthermore, I couldn’t be certain that BP would approve my absence. I felt terribly guilty that I hadn’t told him where I was for this single week away.

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An essential old fashioned grey bread tin (Rousse)

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I really struggled with the eleven bags and cases that we had packed to take on holiday. I did not understand, however, why we needed to take a plastic chopping board, or the old fashioned grey tin bread bin from my childhood home.

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Stabbing victim’s wife welcomes his murder (Rousse)

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I were awakened by footsteps crunching across the gravel outside our bedroom window. I ran to the front of the flat and heard voices in the sitting room. There JS slept under white sheets in a corner. Meanwhile over by the fireplace an unknown assailant stabbed her husband A to death.

When she awoke I told JS what had happened. She was grateful that her husband was dead. She was surprised that we had not noticed how much she abhorred him. His death was everything that she ever wanted.

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