An unwelcome arrival (Rousse)

Posted on March 27, 2025 by Dreamaticus

Only a couple of people noticed XXX when she appeared at the door of the café. However, when she raised her voice to announce her entrance, nobody could miss her arrival. The two tables fell silent.

DTJ was in seated the middle of the long table, along with JM and AC. I was on a ‘satellite’ round table with some of the others. Anxious glances shot across the room.

Where would XXX ‘land’? Although there was no real space at either our tables, those on the bench at the longer one could shuffle up to accommodate her. Wherever she ended up, this was going to be extremely embarrassing.

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Concorde crash-lands in city square (Rousse)

Posted on March 25, 2025 by Dreamaticus

My holiday companion – a stranger – ate her breakfast at our table at the pavement café. None of the calorie-laden dishes on offer appealed to me, so I walked into the market square to look for a stall that sold croissants or something similar.

Along the way, I found TPR – just as Concorde fell from the sky.

‘Run!’ I screamed. ‘We need to get away from the museum quarter as fast as we can. Otherwise, if any of these tall buildings are hit, they could collapse and completely squash us.’

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Cousin betrayal (Rousse)

Posted on March 24, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I witnessed a double betrayal when I caught TPR and my cousin BB locked in an embrace in my bed. I then discovered that this was their second encounter within a few hours.

I considered retaliating by seducing DB on our long drive south in his Tesla the following day, but what would be the point?

In the end JB and I forgave our respective spouses.

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A view of Edinburgh Castle and a cat in the dentist’s car seat (Rousse)

Posted on March 21, 2025 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I didn’t miss the city when we moved to the outskirts of Edinburgh. Our house was a luxurious new-build with an extraordinary number of bathrooms. From a thin window on the top floor, we could see in the distance the outline of the Edinburgh castle and other landmarks along the High Street (amazing at sunrise). So we really weren’t that far away from our old life in town, after all.

My sister S came to visit one day. She arrived in her dentist’s blue sports car, complaining of toothache. She didn’t stay long, and was about to leave when she noticed that her cat was missing from the front passenger seat of the car.

My parents joined us to hunt for the errant pet. I was the one who found the boney bag of thinning fur. This made me the hero of the day, at least in the eyes of my relieved sister.

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A wasted return trip to New Zealand (Rousse)

Posted on March 21, 2025 by Dreamaticus

My old running pal EJ forgot her rugby bag when she set off for New Zealand.

‘To hell with the expense!’ I thought as I booked my flight. It was worth the cost to deliver the bag to her in person. On my arrival at the other side of the world, however, I learnt that EJ had already left the New Zealand for Gambia.

I tried to bargain for a cheap return flight back to the UK, but there were no deals in first class. I ended up paying £1000 for my fruitless round trip. What a waste of money.

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Networking group relaunch (Rousse)

Posted on March 19, 2025 by Dreamaticus

Everyone was enthusiastic about the relaunch of the Friday networking group.

WB was busy raising money so that she could afford to attend. She started selling all her belongings at a car boot sale, with her new baby in tow. DTJ was annoyed that she had donated a hi-vis jacket to WB’s stall. She wished that she had kept the item now that she had taken up cycling.

BP regretted that she couldn’t make the meetings. She was too busy with plans to take her family to New Zealand.

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Housework for a ride (Rousse)

Posted on March 19, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I had an appointment to meet Steve Rickman in his office at the university at 8:00am. It wasn’t far along the coast, so I planned to walk along the shoreline to our rendezvous. I hadn’t considered that this would be impossible at high tide.

I asked the guest house host about public transport to the campus. She reminded me that I was in the US and no such services existed. However, she said that she would gladly offer me a ‘ride’ in exchange for my labour, helping with housework.

All I needed now was Steve Rickman’s phone number so that I could ring and tell him the new arrangement.

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The murderer’s accomplice (Rousse)

Posted on March 16, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I discovered that BMR had buried two bodies under our flat.

The murders were nothing to do with me, and I knew that I should report everything that I knew to the police. However, I feared that nobody – the police, the press, and a murder trial jury – would ever believe me when I claimed no involvement in BMR’s crime.

It was best for both of us to keep our mouths firmly shut.

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Identifying elite US and UK universities (Rousse)

Posted on March 14, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I told a gaggle of American students that everything that I had ever learnt about elite US universities came from watching films. They were impressed that this ‘strategy’ of mine was so successful.

I then asked them if they could name the top universities in the UK. They came up with three institutions: the universities of Oxford, Cambridge, and Edinburgh.

I dropped the students off at the main library of the University of Newcastle with the instruction to spend the rest of the day researching the entire landscape of UK higher education.

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Gym attack (Rousse)

Posted on March 14, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I wanted TPR to discuss plans for our round-the-world tour, but struggled to interest him in the conversation while he was at the gym. I sulkily followed him around the gym floor, making weak attempts at exercise. Meanwhile he put everything into lifting the heaviest weights that he could find.

Then suddenly the gym doors were flung open by a masked man. He leapt over equipment to reach TPR. I had to protect my husband! I picked up a 12 kilogram kettlebell and sent it flying in the direction of the attacker. It landed with a satisfying thud on his midriff. He managed to pick himself up and ran out of the door, escaping with TPR’s Yale key in his hand.

We decided there and then that it was time to give up this gym membership. This would be no great hardship for me because I was already a member of another club with excellent facilities – and far superior security.

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