The one advantage of being single (Rousse)

Posted on October 24, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I finally understood that TPR’s really did intend to divorce me. This was on the day that he told me (in front of his boys’ book group friends) that he would not be sleeping on the sofa bed that night, but ‘going out’ instead.

So this was it. Without him, what meaning would there be in the rest of my life? How would our families and friends cope with this awful and unexpected news? Would I ever find another partner? How? Was there any chance that J would have me?

The single advantage of my newly single status was that I could experiment with online dating, and then be eligible to contribute to FR’s research.

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An octogenarian goes cycling (Rousse)

Posted on October 23, 2019 by Dreamaticus

My mother and I joined the main carriageway carefully – which is just as well because a large timber lorry had obviously not seen us on our bikes, and nearly took out the pair of us. We were heading north to V and C’s house to observe the enormous waves. In practice this was too ambitious a ride for my companion, now in her eighties.

After a couple of miles another cyclist approached us from behind and advised that we turn off just before the main T junction ahead of us. He showed us a cycle path to the left, which led to a gorge. We peeked over the ledge to admire the sandstone cliffs, and pulled back immediately. What a terrific drop! The deep, clear pool above the waterfall was more to our liking as a great bathing spot.

We broke our journey at a bed and breakfast that we knew from holidays of the past. My mother reimbursed the owner with a few stamps on behalf of my now-dead father. In doing so she repaid a debt of long ago.

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Treasure in the littered streets of Edinburgh (Rousse)

Posted on October 22, 2019 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I moved into a new flat in a less-than-salubrious part of Edinburgh. Here the street was awash with litter, and weeds grew in the cracks in the pavement and along the centre of the main road.

We were pleased, however, that some of our new neighbours had obviously made an effort to tidy up their wee corner of the city, and we were keen to help them do more.

TPR got up bright and early to add an excess of Irn Bru cans to the mixed recycling bin across the road from our flat. Then, using a hoe that he borrowed from one of the neighbours, he started to dig up all sorts of ‘treasure’ from the middle of the road. This included a pair of unworn flip-flops, a pink T shirt from Debenhams, and a White Stuff woollen dress. I would never need to shop for clothes again!

Then I remembered that my in-laws were coming for tea, so hurried home to bake some scones.

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Library friends (Rousse)

Posted on October 20, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I spent so much time in the massive library that I became good friends with all the staff, and other users often mistook me for a librarian.

One day, for example, I was obliged to field complaints from a couple who had driven several hours to attend a public lecture at the library, only to find on arrival that it had been ‘cancelled’. I was too embarrassed to confess that it wasn’t really a cancellation. The library staff had forgotten all about this commitment because they had been busy photocopying book chapters for me in a back room. (Or, more precisely, they had lost the book in question and spent the whole morning looking for it. It was eventually found under a coat beneath a desk.)

Occasionally I needed other documents for my research that could not be accessed by my librarian friends. These were supplied instead by TPR’s former colleagues LC and LF, both of whom still had a fondness for flashy cars. Indeed LF was often seen driving around town in a blue and white Mercedes 123, decorated with distinctive corporate branding across the bodywork.

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Brown bear transport to Hawaii (Rousse)

Posted on October 16, 2019 by Dreamaticus

SC confessed that she had frittered away all her savings on foreign holidays, so I was somewhat surprised when she said that she was joining me, JC and TPR on a trip to Hawaii.

BR helped make the travel arrangements for us. We were to be picked up on our bikes from a bus stop near the airport. After the flight we would cross the US in the company of a huge brown bear and its cubs, using the beast both as transport and a safe place to sleep.

I was only too happy to abandon my work colleagues for a few days, especially since N’s misery was starting to grate on us all.

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Irresponsible gun disposal (Rousse)

Posted on October 13, 2019 by Dreamaticus

When the men started to throw beer at us on George Street, we took this as a signal to flee.

We charged down Castle Street, onto Princes Street, and up a side road in the West End. Just as we turned the corner, TPR flung a pistol back along the main road.

‘What did you do that for?’ I asked.

‘I don’t want to be caught in possession of SL’s gun,’ he replied.

‘So you ditch it on Princes Street?!!! Why didn’t you dump it in the canal, or the Forth, where your actions would not have been captured on CCTV? You are doomed’.

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US citizenship test queries in Colorado (Rousse)

Posted on October 12, 2019 by Dreamaticus

The train set off in the wrong direction – or rather we had joined the west-bound train to Hawaii via Texas, rather the service heading east.

We managed to alight at the first stop in rural Colorado, where it was snowing. As TPR wandered up the platform to check for a service that would take us to our final destination, I searched through my suitcase to find some warmer clothes.

Suddenly I sensed a presence behind me. I turned to find a greasy-looking man observing me as I pulled on a grey jumper. He asked me questions about the US citizenship test, but I knew that his real intention was to attack me.

How loud could I scream, and would TPR hear my call for help?

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A kid’s Skype eye test (Rousse)

Posted on October 12, 2019 by Dreamaticus

Having given up on the optician, BC asked me and TPR to test the eyesight of her son N.

Over Skype, it was rather difficult to persuade him to identify which of the black lines were more distinct (in the green circle or the red one?), especially when he was completely absorbed in the book that he was reading.

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Helicopter hillside deaths (Rousse)

Posted on October 6, 2019 by Dreamaticus

TPR successfully piloted the helicopter high into the hills. Then suddenly – on landing – we detected a problem. The engine stuttered as if the fuel tank had run dry.

When we lifted into the air for a second time, we travelled just a few metres over a cliff edge before the engine cut out completely. We plunged forwards to fall to our deaths.

I pitied our parents and everyone else who would mourn us.

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An 11.5 stone sister (Rousse)

Posted on October 3, 2019 by Dreamaticus

I should not have encouraged my sister J onto the scales. At eleven and a half stone, she was not happy.

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