Sustainable yarn sources (Rousse)

I spun different shades of yarn from two sources: dust balls from the corners of the sitting room (mainly grey), and fluff accumulated by the tumble dryer (purple, blue and lilac).

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Photographing ferrets in Stockton-on-Tees (Rousse)

From an upstairs window I could see my sister S and her partner C standing on the front step of their house with a couple of black ferrets in their arms. “They would be great to photograph!”, I thought, so I collected my camera, ran downstairs, and crossed the road.

My sister lived in a beautiful late eighteenth century on Bowesfield Lane in Stockton-on-Tees. In a Georgian city such as Bath or the Edinburgh New Town, it would have been worth a fortune. However, in a town on Teesside, it was not.

It was years since I had crossed the threshold of my sister’s house. I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was no longer an untidy hoarder: all the beautiful features of the house were clearly visible, such as the hand-painted frieze in the entrance porch. She showed me through to her tidy kitchen, and the utility room extension that was not quite finished, yet neatly organised.

Then we stepped out into the garden. Oh dear! It was terribly overgrown and it was very difficult to navigate a way through the undergrowth to the back wall where C was holding the ferrets. The peace was also disturbed by reggae music pounding from a ghetto blaster.

Then a beefy, tattooed neighbour from the street behind my sister’s garden jumped over the wall to join us. I couldn’t work out whether he was looking for drugs or a fight. He didn’t give the impression that he was there to be photographed with the ferrets.

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Octogenarian bed-hopping (Rousse)

When we woke in the morning my husband and I found my eighty year-old mother comfortably sandwiched between us in our king-sized bed.

At which point during the night had she sneaked in without our noticing? How could we politely ask her to leave?

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The one advantage of being single (Rousse)

I finally understood that TPR’s really did intend to divorce me. This was on the day that he told me (in front of his boys’ book group friends) that he would not be sleeping on the sofa bed that night, but ‘going out’ instead.

So this was it. Without him, what meaning would there be in the rest of my life? How would our families and friends cope with this awful and unexpected news? Would I ever find another partner? How? Was there any chance that J would have me?

The single advantage of my newly single status was that I could experiment with online dating, and then be eligible to contribute to FR’s research.

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An octogenarian goes cycling (Rousse)

My mother and I joined the main carriageway carefully – which is just as well because a large timber lorry had obviously not seen us on our bikes, and nearly took out the pair of us. We were heading north to V and C’s house to observe the enormous waves. In practice this was too ambitious a ride for my companion, now in her eighties.

After a couple of miles another cyclist approached us from behind and advised that we turn off just before the main T junction ahead of us. He showed us a cycle path to the left, which led to a gorge. We peeked over the ledge to admire the sandstone cliffs, and pulled back immediately. What a terrific drop! The deep, clear pool above the waterfall was more to our liking as a great bathing spot.

We broke our journey at a bed and breakfast that we knew from holidays of the past. My mother reimbursed the owner with a few stamps on behalf of my now-dead father. In doing so she repaid a debt of long ago.

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Treasure in the littered streets of Edinburgh (Rousse)

TPR and I moved into a new flat in a less-than-salubrious part of Edinburgh. Here the street was awash with litter, and weeds grew in the cracks in the pavement and along the centre of the main road.

We were pleased, however, that some of our new neighbours had obviously made an effort to tidy up their wee corner of the city, and we were keen to help them do more.

TPR got up bright and early to add an excess of Irn Bru cans to the mixed recycling bin across the road from our flat. Then, using a hoe that he borrowed from one of the neighbours, he started to dig up all sorts of ‘treasure’ from the middle of the road. This included a pair of unworn flip-flops, a pink T shirt from Debenhams, and a White Stuff woollen dress. I would never need to shop for clothes again!

Then I remembered that my in-laws were coming for tea, so hurried home to bake some scones.

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Library friends (Rousse)

I spent so much time in the massive library that I became good friends with all the staff, and other users often mistook me for a librarian.

One day, for example, I was obliged to field complaints from a couple who had driven several hours to attend a public lecture at the library, only to find on arrival that it had been ‘cancelled’. I was too embarrassed to confess that it wasn’t really a cancellation. The library staff had forgotten all about this commitment because they had been busy photocopying book chapters for me in a back room. (Or, more precisely, they had lost the book in question and spent the whole morning looking for it. It was eventually found under a coat beneath a desk.)

Occasionally I needed other documents for my research that could not be accessed by my librarian friends. These were supplied instead by TPR’s former colleagues LC and LF, both of whom still had a fondness for flashy cars. Indeed LF was often seen driving around town in a blue and white Mercedes 123, decorated with distinctive corporate branding across the bodywork.

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Brown bear transport to Hawaii (Rousse)

SC confessed that she had frittered away all her savings on foreign holidays, so I was somewhat surprised when she said that she was joining me, JC and TPR on a trip to Hawaii.

BR helped make the travel arrangements for us. We were to be picked up on our bikes from a bus stop near the airport. After the flight we would cross the US in the company of a huge brown bear and its cubs, using the beast both as transport and a safe place to sleep.

I was only too happy to abandon my work colleagues for a few days, especially since N’s misery was starting to grate on us all.

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Irresponsible gun disposal (Rousse)

When the men started to throw beer at us on George Street, we took this as a signal to flee.

We charged down Castle Street, onto Princes Street, and up a side road in the West End. Just as we turned the corner, TPR flung a pistol back along the main road.

‘What did you do that for?’ I asked.

‘I don’t want to be caught in possession of SL’s gun,’ he replied.

‘So you ditch it on Princes Street?!!! Why didn’t you dump it in the canal, or the Forth, where your actions would not have been captured on CCTV? You are doomed’.

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US citizenship test queries in Colorado (Rousse)

The train set off in the wrong direction – or rather we had joined the west-bound train to Hawaii via Texas, rather the service heading east.

We managed to alight at the first stop in rural Colorado, where it was snowing. As TPR wandered up the platform to check for a service that would take us to our final destination, I searched through my suitcase to find some warmer clothes.

Suddenly I sensed a presence behind me. I turned to find a greasy-looking man observing me as I pulled on a grey jumper. He asked me questions about the US citizenship test, but I knew that his real intention was to attack me.

How loud could I scream, and would TPR hear my call for help?

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