A (possibly) dead husband and a stolen Christmas parcel (Rousse)

Life had been difficult since TPR died of cancer, but I resolved to lead as ‘normal’ a life as possible, and went to work as usual.

I needed to tell the powers that be that the arrangement for collecting deliveries on campus was not working. When I popped down to the hall to find a late Christmas package, I could tell that someone had already interfered with it. I sorted through the remains, and put aside a ‘Merry Christmas’ banner and three bottles of wine. Not long afterwards, when I returned to carry the goods that I had saved back to my room, nothing was left in the bag.

I took a long walk across Edinburgh to ponder on all my woes (although principally my dead husband and my stolen Christmas parcel). I cheered up a little to admire the sunshine through the trees in Corstorphine, and the red brick waterworks in Dalry.

Then I remembered that I was due on campus for a meeting at 2pm, so I caught a bus back into town. It was only then that I remembered that I’d been in bed with TPR the previous afternoon, and that I’d witnessed him speaking on Skype with his mother the same evening. Perhaps he hadn’t died after all?

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Manchester’s music scene celebrated at the University (Rousse)

How did I know that I was at the University of Manchester? Because the walls were covered in Manchester band posters. Gathered together like this, you were forced to appreciate the impact of city’s music scene on the history of pop music.

I didn’t make it far into the library. I couldn’t make sense of the floating glass stairs that led up to the reading rooms. Every time I ventured to take a step, I feared that I would slip off a stair and crash onto the marble floor below. It was safer to return to the foyer.

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Tomato porridge (Rousse)

Accidentally add porridge oats to a pan of tomato sauce et voilà, you’ve invented a new breakfast treat!

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Woodcut Dobble and washing up (Rousse)

I was holding my own in a difficult game of Woodcut Dobble against DT-J, so I was sorry when she suddenly announced that the game was over.

DT-J was reacting to the dirty looks that her mother-in-law had cast in our direction. She interpreted these as the signal that we shouldn’t be wasting our afternoon playing games, but washing up instead.

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Two deaths for Daddy (Rousse)

Both the hospital and EasyDeath had lied. It was impossible that those ashes in the box on the mantelpiece were my father’s because here he was still clinging to life, looking for fish in a low river with my mother and a bunch of friends on a beautiful summer’s day.

Granted, my father gave a good impression of popping his clogs in December 2018, but in reality he had just slipped into a very deep coma. I dreaded the coming months and being forced to endure the trauma of my father’s decline and death for a second time.

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Tom Hanks – police officer, lover (Belle)

I had a police interview organised and was told to meet Officer Andy in the pub. Initially I was nervous but he seemed to be happy with my answers. I had to leave on an errand and promised to come back to finish our conversation. When I returned, he wasn’t there and I realised I was disappointed. Later, when he appeared, we were suddenly all over each other. “This connection is amazing“, he said.  I wanted to cringe, but he was speaking in Tom Hanks‘ voice which seemed to make it more acceptable. “Yes”, I said, “your square to my wavy lines”.

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Tall, dark, skinny, brainy men wanted (Rousse)

“How did you select him?” asked my friend as she scanned the form of my new beau.

“Oh, he’s usual type”, I replied “Tall, dark, skinny and brainy, and – this time – with curly hair”.

The young man was delighted to overhear that he was considered ‘brainy’. Meanwhile I cast a glance at TPR and he winked back at me. There was no way that this young man could be considered clever. I was merely flattering him.

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Secret agent Rousse

My new job title was ‘Secret agent’, and my first task to decipher the coded instructions that detailed my contract. TPR was also appointed at the same time. Our cover story was that we were academics who worked in a outlying suburb of Edinburgh.

Our first mission was to uncover the plans of the other employees who were plotting against our new boss. When this woman intimated to me that I had been selected for my role not only for my high intelligence, but because I was known to work beyond 8pm each night, I considered switching side to join the plotters myself.

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Filthy rich families fight over weddings in space (Belle)

A group of Saudi billionaires had promised India’s richest man that his daughters could be married in space. Sadly the technology had failed and the rockets had never taken off.  Billions of dollars of broadcasting rights had been sold and the dispute spiralled out of control – the countries were on the brink of war.

Eventually, the daughters arrived in Saudi Arabia on a diplomatic mission. Wearing emerald green and gold, they walked elegantly down the airplane steps and the crowds cheered. Any thoughts of conflict were forgotten.

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A bulging blackberry bath hat win (Rousse)

SC and I were competing in a river game. As our boat floated several feet above water, we stretched out long rods to pick up booty from beneath us. There were points for sticks retrieved from the water, piles of dry leaves scooped from the river bank, etc.

When I saw a bulging bath hat beneath us, I was intrigued. It was crammed full with a crop of fresh blackberries. I reached down to lift it into our boat. I would now surely win the competition.

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