Dreamaticus populae
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Recent reveries
- Alpine pig-snoring and the price of pork (Rousse)
- Missing Sussex child discovered captive in dirty bungalow (Rousse)
- Work as a guerrilla gardener and clandestine cleaner (Rousse)
- A pea-green tandem and pink counterpanes in South America (Rousse)
- Cold War cleaner (Belle)
- Older woman refuses to give up her younger man (Rousse)
- Swollen blue vein mystery (Rousse)
- Cycling up Arthur’s Seat in the snow (Rousse)
- Disabled passenger booted off the bus for smoking (Rousse)
- Access to King Charles III’s innermost circle (Rousse)
- John Lewis furnishings favoured by terrorists (Rousse)
- Bare-bottomed criminal intent at Ambridge Hall (Rousse)
- Wrist splint wreckage at the reunion (Rousse)
- Paying off a £1M drugs debt (Rousse)
- A soaking for a pie in Lochinver (Rousse)
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Bride cooks beans for her wedding (Rousse)
My sister S stirred an enormous steaming pan of green beans on the Aga. ‘Why are you cooking in such quantities?’ I asked her. ‘I’m catering for my wedding next week, of course’ she replied. ‘Do you think I should … Continue reading
Scaling walls on the Holy Island of Lindisfarne (Rousse)
There was no room for a staircase when the house on Holy Island was first built. Portable suction pads were provided to the residents so that they could scale the walls to reach the upper floors. My elderly mother was … Continue reading
Sex, firemen and Jack Nicholson (Belle)
I had moved to Brooklyn to join a commune of New York firefighters and I had taken the house I lived in in 1989 with me. While I was standing nude in the bathroom I realised that Jack Nicholson was … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bathroom, commune, fire-fighters, Jack Nicholson, mirror, New York
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A Paris conference drop-out skincare expert (Rousse)
I was in Paris for an academic conference. Just a couple of stops along the Metro were my sister-in-law JLR and my niece F, now aged 16. I missed sessions, dressed in a white hotel towel and plastic high heels … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged academic, acne, advice, city, conference, expert, Fawlty Towers, hotel, Lakeland Plastics, metro, niece, Paris, sister-in-law, skin, skincare, street, towel
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Matchbox car entertainment (Rousse)
BC and GC’s house was bigger than I imagined from the photos. I was keen to confirm that I had come to the right place and looked around for green leather furniture. When I returned home I realised that I … Continue reading
Husband claims that he is God (Rousse)
I overheard TPR tell a conference delegate that he was God, and claim that this was why he was qualified to speak about social media use in higher education (even though he knew nothing about the subject). He also explained … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged ceremony, claim, competition, conference delegate, demo, dog, higher education, husband, judge, lazy, medal, mortal, river, social media, speech, Thames, TPR
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The Queen’s babies and David Beckham’s bikini line (Belle)
I had two new careers – and I was equally out of depth in both. As the Queen’s midwife, I was uncomfortable with the sight of blood although delighted with how trim I looked in the uniform. Later, despite my … Continue reading
Losing weight and losing your mind (Rousse)
Belle and I were having huge problems dealing with TIX. Although we were terribly impressed by her recent weight loss, we were distressed to discover that she had also lost her mind. When she jumped out of the car in … Continue reading
Party hostess revives the dead (Rousse)
NP hosted the most fabulous parties in her enormous kitchen (about the size of our hall). Amongst her guests was my Granny H, brought back from the dead specially to entertain me. Afterwards (as we drank the complimentary orange juice … Continue reading
Best murder poster drives guest into Mermaid’s arms (Rousse)
I couldn’t stay on for the formal dinner so I left TMX in the hands of IKX. This arrangement was not to T’s liking. She disapproved of the ostentatious wealth of I’s new house, especially that evident in the home … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anonymity, arm, bedroom, best, call, clautrophobic, dinner, drive, formal, friendship, guest Mermaid, gym, home, house, murder, ostentation, past, poster, pub, ring, sleep, tragic, uncomfortable, wall, wealth
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