Category Archives: Uncategorized

Eminem’s fiancé (Belle)

My relationship with Eminem (or Marshall as I was now calling him) was going from strength to strength. Although marriage hadn’t been mentioned, and no formal proposal had been made, Marshall helped me fashion a wedding headdress out of costume … Continue reading →

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Chat show true crime tale (Belle)

I was appearing on a chat show, reminiscing about a gang of “bad ass true crime podcasters”. “How bad were they?” I asked rhetorically. “Well, once they pulled me over and they weren’t even driving a car”. How the audience … Continue reading →

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Tricks when parking a car in Edinburgh (Rousse)

I had been away from work for so long that a new boy had to show me around our office premises south of the Edinburgh city bypass. First he took me to the car park that we shared with the … Continue reading →

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A furious fur-clad driver (Rousse)

I caught up with my former colleague KB at the other side of the till. She looked rather chic in a brown full-length fur coat topped with a black mink bolero. She was, however, a reckless driver. She ignored the … Continue reading →

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Murdered peat bog bodies (Rousse)

When I left the two bodies to rot in the peat bog, I thought that I had committed the perfect murder. However, I accidentally left behind traces of my involvement in the dastardly deed. These included two knives, and a … Continue reading →

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The world’s most versatile dog-themed kitchen gadget (Rousse)

The dog sculpture in jade looked good in MB’s new kitchen and I now regretted that the family had given it to her as a present. The ornament was also much more versatile than we had first believed. The head … Continue reading →

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Secrets between friends (Rousse)

DJ and AJ had supposedly downsized to a modern house on the mainland. When we visited their new place, however, we found that they were now living in a gorgeous mansion furnished almost entirely with Chinese antiques. We had clearly … Continue reading →

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Snowball tattoo shocker (Rousse)

I wasn’t too shocked when TPR tried on his sister S’s blue Liberty patterned bikini. The real horror was the sight of his tattooed shoulders and back beneath the strappy top. When had he had the time to ruin his … Continue reading →

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Train trouble at Milton Keynes (Rousse)

The train had almost pulled into the last station on the route when it reversed direction. The guard announced that it would no longer be stopping at Milton Keynes, but instead would call in at all stations en route to … Continue reading →

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Dead man’s clothes (Rousse)

I selected a broad multi-coloured graph paper print soft cotton shirt for my father’s birthday present. Then I remembered that he was dead, so any purchase would be completely pointless.

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