Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Belle is a blank canvas

Posted on January 27, 2011 by Dreamaticus

I was the victim of mistaken identity in Dusseldorf. Or was it a set-up? I had been taken to a town centre apartment by a woman I hadn’t seen for over 30 years so I could change my clothes. While … Continue reading →

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UK’s cheapest print cartridges found in… North Berwick? (Rousse)

Posted on January 27, 2011 by Dreamaticus

With his mop of blond hair and angelic five year-old face he made an unlikely criminal, but when I confronted this gun-toting infant terrorist in the wood I was terrified. Although my revolver rested safely in my handbag, it would … Continue reading →

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Drugs raids ruin City living (Belle)

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Dreamaticus

The Barbican became the centre of a series of ill-judged Metropolitan Police drug raids. Then the service at the Chinese fast-food restaurant started to go downhill. Once again, they gave me the wrong paperback with my order, and my friend … Continue reading →

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Diamonds are forever (Rousse)

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Dreamaticus

How could this be possible: a variation on the game of Scrabble, dumbed down for adults? The man who invited me to play poured the tiles on to the table. They were the size of large dominoes. Rather than displaying … Continue reading →

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Poetry, romance and messy bathrooms (Belle)

Posted on January 25, 2011 by Dreamaticus

I helped the local school to relocate by carrying a cardboard box of books to a house around the corner. This formed the next stage in the ‘human chain’ that was being used to save removal costs. I was helped … Continue reading →

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Cakes, a cute puppy, and unwelcome careers advice (Rousse)

Posted on January 25, 2011 by Dreamaticus

We all squeezed into LC’s new car and headed to the airport, stopping off on the way so that LC and KT could raid cake shops. I waited in the car park, looking after the children. Fitness trainer KB’s dog … Continue reading →

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Rousse the stowaway to star in Channel 4 reality show

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Dreamaticus

£12 was an absolute bargain for two freshly landed salmon, especially when the fishmonger offered to gut them free of charge. On the way home we picked up the frozen peas that I had left in the pub car park … Continue reading →

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It’s school cocktail hour (Belle)

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Dreamaticus

My friend B was a teaching assistant, wearing a red pinafore/overall. She was making a small group of eight-year olds read from a flipchart: “A Martini a day helps you work, rest and play”.

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Stolen sausages and Barry Manilow (Belle)

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Dreamaticus

My sister’s flatmate had been cooking. Everywhere I looked there were sausages, either ready to eat on the table, or cooking under the grill or in frying pans. Then my sister discovered that her own sausages were missing. The flatmate … Continue reading →

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Radcliffe (but no Maconie), a land-based submarine and an invitation to Disneyland (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Dreamaticus

“You all remember Mark Radcliffe don’t you?” We followed SM’s gaze up the garden path. As the good-looking young man and his smart parents came through the gate, the rest of TPR’s family stood up from their deck-chairs ready to … Continue reading →

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