Dreamaticus populae
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- Alpine pig-snoring and the price of pork (Rousse)
- Missing Sussex child discovered captive in dirty bungalow (Rousse)
- Work as a guerrilla gardener and clandestine cleaner (Rousse)
- A pea-green tandem and pink counterpanes in South America (Rousse)
- Cold War cleaner (Belle)
- Older woman refuses to give up her younger man (Rousse)
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- Disabled passenger booted off the bus for smoking (Rousse)
- Access to King Charles III’s innermost circle (Rousse)
- John Lewis furnishings favoured by terrorists (Rousse)
- Bare-bottomed criminal intent at Ambridge Hall (Rousse)
- Wrist splint wreckage at the reunion (Rousse)
- Paying off a £1M drugs debt (Rousse)
- A soaking for a pie in Lochinver (Rousse)
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Author Archives: Dreamaticus
Snogs for shoes (Rousse)
Why was this always happening to me? I’d show someone a little kindness and the next thing they expected was a snog. In this case it wasn’t the usual hardship: I quite fancied S. I explained to him, however, that … Continue reading
Cousins versus a phone call at St Pancras Station (Rousse)
I took AM’s phone call just a few steps from where I last left her in the Betjeman Arms at St Pancras Station. We chatted amiably until my attention was distracted by the comings and goings of a group of … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Betjeman Arms, call, conversation, cousin, dead, hair, line, London, meeting, phone, Renaissance Hotel, St Pancras, station, steps
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The shame of Jonathan Ross’ brother’s criminal career (Rousse)
My sister J was a criminal mastermind. Her two children served as the key members of her gang. My mentor – who would eventually become my partner provided that I proved myself – was one of Jonathan Ross’ brothers (although … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Adam, bikini, brother, car, career, cars, coat, colleague, criminal, customer, directions, drive, driving, Ealing, gang, goods, gun, Jonathan Ross, Kings College, London, mastermind, mentor, MIles, package, parcel, Post Office, post offices, shame, Simon, skin, sports car, steal, stock, stolen goods, sunburn, supermarket, village, violin, Volvo, wool
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Redundancies at the V&A and a pair of curious twins (Rousse)
Belle and I were at the same conference with a surprisingly large number of employees of the Victoria and Albert Museum, all of whom were about to be made redundant. I mentioned to them that Sir Mark Jones was a … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged brother, conference, conversation, curly, hair, marriage, Oxford, photo, photograph, redundancies, redundancy, relation, relative, shout, shouting, shouts, Sir Mark Jones, St Cross College, tall, twin, twins, University of Oxford, V&A, Victoria and Albert Museum
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A college education and life as a call girl (Belle)
In a large hall in an American high school I was amused to see three students wearing Aston Villa shirts watching Match of the Day on a big screen. As I looked closer, I realised that the students had arranged … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Birmingham, Charlton Athletic, football, high school, Match of the Day, necklace, prostitute, vending machine, wig
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Oil struck in the Pentland Hills (Rousse)
First we were amazed to hear that a tiny Middle Eastern prince had popped over for a round of golf at our local club. Then we were astonished to witness streams flowing uphill over the Pentland Hills. The biggest shock … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged club, economy, Golf, income, meltdown, Middle East, oil, Pentland Hills, prince, Scottish, stream, streams
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Ab Fab’s Patsy Stone meets Sir Edwin Lutyens (Rousse)
The main problem with our kitchen was that it was a five minute drive from the rest of our house. The “room” itself was a low level crumbling shack sitting in an unkempt garden. Nobody had bothered with the housework … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Ab Fab, castle, ditch, driving, fence, fireplace, fortune, garden, gardening, heap, Holy Island, housework, Joanna Lumley, kitchen, lawn, Lindisfarne, Lutyens, mow, mowing, Patsy, Patsy Stone, room, scrap, Sir Edwin Lutyens, St Cuthbert, TPR
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School reunion imposter unmasked in Yorkshire (Rousse)
A second school reunion was organised after the success of the 2011 event. This time it was held in the Yorkshire village of Robin Hood’s Bay in a beautiful posh restaurant that looked over the beach. Kev F Sutherland drove … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged beach, booking, bookings, business cards, car, chair, chairs, damage, dent, dining room, driving, Edinburgh, fake, husband, imposter, invitation, Kev F Sutherland, people carrier, place setting, place settings, purple, restaurantt, reunion, Robin Hood's Bay, running, school, scratch, table, TPR, vehicle, wall, wing, Yorkshire
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Planning for University interviews by tandem (Rousse)
When I’d promised that I would take my sister S to her university interviews I had not appreciated how hard it would be to organise transport. It was particularly difficult to work out travel plans around her afternoon appointment at … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged car, driving, fare, interview, interviews, London, roads, sister, tandem, train, trains, UCL, university, University College London, winter
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French homework help (Rousse)
This was shameful. Not only had I little idea of how to correct my nephew PF’s French homework, but I also incorrectly “corrected” the work of another person who had been helping him. Exasperated I confessed my lost talents. “Didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged confess, correct, corrections, forget, French, help, homework, nephew, talent, talents
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