Monthly Archives: April 2018

Cancer patient makes an early, and ill-advised, return to work (Rousse)

Posted on April 7, 2018 by Dreamaticus

LM was shocked to see me in the corridor on campus. ‘Whatever are you doing here?’ she shouted. ‘You’ve got cancer. Go back home to your sickbay!’ My own opinion was that I was fit to work. Then I tried … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lunch with Barry Cryer (Rousse)

Posted on April 7, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I took pity on Barry Cryer, dining alone at a table for two. He recognised me when I joined him, and seemed to welcome my company. We discussed my ‘secret talent’, and the pleasure of revealing to others that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A garden trespasser sausage chef (Rousse)

Posted on April 6, 2018 by Dreamaticus

When I glanced through the bedroom window I saw a tall dark man cooking sausages on our barbecue in our garden. ‘Go get him!’ I ordered TPR. ‘No problem’, he replied, waving his axe in the air. While TPR charged … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An American cheese snatcher (Rousse)

Posted on April 5, 2018 by Dreamaticus

At last our obnoxious American visitor was leaving the country – but why were members of my family wrapping up all our spare cheese as a farewell gift for her? I was going to use it in my cooking.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

National Insurance contributions for a private school teacher (Rousse)

Posted on April 5, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I accepted a job as a teacher at the tiny private prep school that my grandmother operated from the extension at the back of her house. I hoped that this was all above board, and that she would pay my … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Arnold Schwartzenegger’s boring speech (Rousse)

Posted on April 4, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Two of my Polish colleagues had commandeered my office while I was on long-term sick leave. My desk and other belongings were now all squeezed into a dark corner. I hoped that this was a temporary measure and that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tamsin Greig caught up in sewage crisis (Rousse)

Posted on April 3, 2018 by Dreamaticus

No wonder our tiny bathroom was awash with debris from the domestic sewage system. There were simply far too many people in the house, and the drains could no longer cope with the increased use of the facilities. Somehow TPR … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

New efficient technique for unwanted hair removal (Rousse)

Posted on April 2, 2018 by Dreamaticus

SM’s new party trick was to half-swallow a wire, lodge it in his throat, use it to grasp the hairs outside on his neck from the inside, pull the hairs through the skin, and bring them back out of his … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A mistaken victim of a murderous niece (Rousse)

Posted on April 1, 2018 by Dreamaticus

They thought that they had found the (whole) body of my aunt. This was impossible. After the murder I had disposed of the corpse very carefully, cut it into many pieces, and distributed them over several sites. This was clearly … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment