Boris Johnson’s PhD thesis was so ancient that the yellowing paper cracked as you turned the pages.

Presented in two battered cream-cloth bound volumes, the content was somewhat disappointing. I’d hoped that it would come in useful as I did undercover work for Sun Microsystems at its Linlithgow base. These days every contact from another company who stepped into the building was considered a possible industry spy on a fishing expedition.

However, when I saw that Boris had used the disgraceful term “uni” in his text, I very much doubted the authority of his work as a whole.