Unexpected side effects (Belle)

Posted on January 20, 2023 by Dreamaticus

An ex-boyfriend presented me with a small pyramid of white powder on a silver platter, like an old-fashioned butler.

As soon as I approached him, with my finger outstretched, I developed chickenpox.

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Mother’s ruin (Belle)

Posted on January 20, 2023 by Dreamaticus

My mother and I returned home late – it was 1:30 in the morning. The street was packed with badly parked cars. I was even more confused when I let myself into the house to find it full of unknown party-goers holding a wake. I greeted everyone in the front room and continued to walk through the house. Each room had its own sound system, and the music was fantastic. I recognised an Aswad tune I hadn’t heard in years.

In one room everyone was wearing West Ham United shirts and I burst in waving my arms in the air shouting “You Hammers bastards” and joined in with the dancing.

I knew my mother was hating every minute of it, which made enjoy it even more.

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An award-winning Australian and pelicans (Rousse)

Posted on January 15, 2023 by Dreamaticus

On the bus back to the airport at the end of the conference, the organisers informed us that there would be an award for the most friendly delegate. From the looks on their faces, I guessed that everyone felt the same as me: (1) had we known that such a prize was on offer, we would have made more of an effort; (2) Australian academic MO was bound to win it.

In consolation, I gazed out of the bus window at beautiful low coastline of white sandy beaches and turquoise sea. The pelicans provided amusement as they dipped in and out of the water.

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Online games in bed (Rousse)

Posted on January 12, 2023 by Dreamaticus

My depiction of Iceland in our game on online charades was a hopeless failure. I had hoped that the others might have realised that my shuddering body represented a cold country.

I would have had more success if (a) my laptop camera were better positioned; (b) I didn’t play the game with the covers pulled tight over me in bed; and (c) I played ‘live’ rather than simply submitted screenshots of my performance.

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Stirrup hairdressing (Rousse)

Posted on January 11, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I sat at a make-shift hairdresser’s chair with my feet fixed in stirrups. A man attended to my hair, then a woman demanded £60 – for a simple dry trim. What a waste of money.

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Dealing with an extra last minute dinner guest (Rousse)

Posted on January 11, 2023 by Dreamaticus

We struggled to find L and EC’s bungalow as TPR led us in circles around the small estate. We were about to give up on our lunch date when we saw EC in the street hunting for us.

EC’s face dropped when she saw three of us. We had told a third party that OC was coming too, but this information had not been passed on.

‘I know that four ramekins are not easily split into five, but I have a small appetite’, I offered. EC smiled in acknowledgement. Everything would be alright.

As things turned out, there were seven of us at the dinner table. DJ and FB were the other two guests.

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Solo bikes, tandems, and trandems shelter from heavy Hebridean traffic (Rousse)

Posted on January 10, 2023 by Dreamaticus

The Isle of Harris was now such a popular holiday destination that hundreds of cars and camper vans surged through Tarbert and up into the hills whenever the CalMac ferry docked. The traffic was so heavy that all cyclists knew to step off the road and wait in the ditch whenever a new wave of vehicles hit the single track road.

On this occasion, I was at the top of the Clisham where many other cyclists had gathered. This gave me an opportunity to ask the age of a pair of elderly tandem riders, and admire a yellow, electric, trandem.

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Prince Harry’s sobs (Rousse)

Posted on January 9, 2023 by Dreamaticus

With hands held tight and fingers inter-meshed, the three of us hugged one another close so that Prince Harry could sob safely into our coats.

I started to pull away. ‘We’re almost at the Balmoral gate’, I whispered. ‘The press will be there. You’ll need to stop crying now.’

I felt ever so sorry for my princely friend.

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Secrets of a summer cycling trip (Rousse)

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Dreamaticus

A week in a dormitory on the converted Queen Margaret University campus was a very modest holiday for us, but fit the remit. Best of all, XX was there.

Although her ex-husband and two children were with her, XX was still up for telling us all about her summer cycling trip with her special ‘friend’.

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Lunch in Corbridge (Rousse)

Posted on January 5, 2023 by Dreamaticus

I set off to collect my cousin FA from the exam hall. I should have known that he would have left his desk long before the end of the allocated time to complete the paper. It took a while to work out where to find him and take him to my grandmother’s house in Corbridge.

On arrival, we headed directly upstairs. In her own bedroom, my grandmother was hosting a meeting with her three children: my mother, my aunt, and my uncle. Across the landing, my sister JMH was hosting a lunch party in one of the other bedrooms.

FA and I joined the lunch party. This turned out to be a terrible disappointment because (a) there was hardly enough bread to go around and (b) apart from the recently restored dining table, all the furniture in the room was extremely tatty.

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