I was the one who uncovered the real reason why the London underground workers had gone on strike: the tube stations were now so busy that they felt that their privacy at work was threatened.
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I accompanied two Australian nuns (distant relations of my husband) on the train to Doncaster, but mistakenly bought a return back to King’s Cross, rather than Edinburgh.
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My sister-in-law flooded the bathroom, though happily the 3 feet of water stood motionless at the kitchen door.
I was filming a documentary about how the Rolling Stones lost all that weight: they found it easier to diet buddied up.
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The son of Grayson Perry was commentating on some footage of his father from the late 60s. He looked like Marianne Faithful in those days.
Tesco was now so dominant that 90% of the British population lived in a Tesco condo within the local store. This gave them easy access to 24 hour shopping. I hated it, but was scared to leave without TPR.
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I congratulated Obama on his campaign, and noticed that in old videos of Whitney Houston that she sported untamed eyebrows.
My husband had aged overnight and taken on the appearance of a sprightly Bruce Forsyth. I was not impressed at the amount of attention that he was paying visiting American teenagers and his decision to take them all to a performance by the Lady Boys of Bangkok. We struggled to fit in a meal before the show and my camera broke.
I was selling bone china on stall in Brick Lane but someone stole the best pieces. Then, with three people, I broke into some villains’ lecture hall to rewire it. We didn’t return to the hiding place quick enough so to cover our tracks all four of us got on stage and sang a close harmony number. We were all of us astonished when a colleague sang like an angel. Then I broke into someone’s house to have a shower.
I was wondering whether I was too old for my 16 year-old boyfriend – after all I was almost 19. We walked along the shore and spotted some dolphins. When the pelicans attacked us we discovered you could easily shake them off, but their beaks remained embedded in our skin for ages afterwards.
I worked in a kitten hospital and then saw Goldfinger at the cinema.
The local Thai spa was teaching Scottish country dancing to businessmen in the lobby. As I was waiting for my sauna I thought ‘this isn’t very relaxing…’
I ran out of a cave in a Cornish cove and helped to hide Cavalier children in cupboards under sinks. Then I bought a handbag in a warehouse sale.
Dreamaticus 