Belle’s random ramblings – with bonus Russell Brand

Meatballs in Timbuktu.

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Russell Brand saying he grew up on a pig farm.

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A video of moving trainers arriving in a club full of big bass sounds.

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Working on a milk round.

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Cash to pay for wall repairs, and something more substantial to wear (Belle)

Holes appeared in my kitchen wall.

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I dropped a bag full of coins in a conference room and found an enamelled five euro coin. I was dressed in a towel.

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How to spend your lunch hour (Belle)

I was in a shopping mall where every lunch-time local workers built competitive human pyramids that spun round 360 degrees. The lad on the top got stretchered down.

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Parrot escapes (Rousse)

African grey parrot by Brendan MacNeill

African grey parrot by Brendan MacNeill

I opened the door to the attic and made sure that it was firmly shut before I lifted the cloth and let the two parrots out of their cage. Unfortunately I had neglected to also check the windows. The larger bird took flight into the open, and was lost forever. AH would never forgive me.

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New species of sea mammal discovered by Rousse

We travelled at lightening speed across the ocean in a silver and black speedboat. It was fitted with an on-board camera that displayed in real-time which creatures were being chopped to pieces as they got caught up in the propeller. When we returned to shore we saw a shoal of whale varieties in the bay. With them was a sea mammal new to me. I’d never heard of a “porcine” before, and there was nothing pig-like about it either, but there it was, playing with the killer whale.

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Creature confusion (Belle)

I was backstage on a TV show where there was a dog-sitter. It was a human-sized badger dressed like Mrs Tiggywinkle.

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Belle in Wonderland

I saw the smallest caravan in the world. It was just big enough for a table that had two full-size custard tarts on it. Then I survived two murder attempts and found lots of mini Easter eggs under the TV.

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Belle beats Conan Doyle

I decided to write Conan Doyle’s first draft of a Sherlock Holmes story.

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Belle participates in a sheep dog trial

After queuing up nicely, I was allowed to join a synchronised sheepdog trial. The sheep ran away from me, but the dog got me into the pen quite nicely. Then a load of strangers started doing acrobatics on the course.

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Super-efficient fossils (Rousse)

I cracked open a rock and found inside two fossils – both already labelled.

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