University of Edinburgh professor is target shooting champion (Rousse)

Talented University of Edinburgh professor JS was the resort champion of target shooting. I wished that I had brought along a camera to capture her magnificent winning shot against the glorious Caribbean sunset.

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Meet MEP Margaret: the world champion Tay Bridge swimmer (Rousse)

As soon as the woman that I called Marion corrected me and told me that she was Margaret I remembered exactly who she was: the Scottish National Party’s MEP for Stirling and world champion Tay Bridge swimmer.

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When cloud computing meets Beatnik poetry (Rousse)

Rather than continue our journey south we turned back towards Sheffield. JT was annoyed. She had hoped that we would drop her off in Stockton-on-Tees. Instead we parked in the huge Costco car park, paid the extortionate parking fee, and took our places in the conference hall.

The presenters were terrible – but what else could you expect when the CEO picks up his speakers during casual conversations on public transport? When the supposed expert on cloud computing started to recite Beatnik poetry, I knew that it was time to leave.

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A deal with Oracle goes wrong (Rousse)

X shouted an insult at me as he left campus at 4pm on Friday – just as I was arriving at work to clear my e-mail. He was convinced that I was not doing a proper job of looking after the Faculty’s PhD students. This was a completely false accusation. Indeed I’d spent that very afternoon identifying a second supervisor for a student who looked like he was about to jump ship for Imperial.

In retaliation I screamed back at X that I conducted research, wrote papers, examined PhDs and did my own fair share of teaching. This, I reminded him, was a lot more than he did. Then I took the decision to find Y to confirm that he was happy with my work.

I heard Y’s voice before I saw him. It sounded like he was offering to take a couple of strangers out for a drink. When I turned the corner I saw a small group of smartly dressed men huddled around Y.

Two of the men stepped aside and revealed to me that they were University staff. They explained that a deal struck between the University and Oracle was on the verge of collapse. Oracle was meant to be donating some kit, but would only do so on he condition that the labs in which it was installed were overhauled. The University’s technical staff were refusing to comply. I suspected that they simply didn’t have the skills to make the required fixes.

I offered a possible solution. “Phone TPR”, I suggested. “This is just the kind of service he could provide for you.”

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A loss to geology (Rousse)

When I head that there was a geological tour of the island that included a trip to the glacier I knew that I had lost TPR.

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Lecturing more stressful than teaching (Rousse)

SPC switched teaching for lecturing. Her verdict: the life of a university lecturer is much tougher than that of a school teacher.

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A fast man and slow leg-shaving (Belle)

I was curious about the man I discovered was living on the top floor of our house. He had walked into the lounge and – without uttering a word – gripped my wrist tightly and stared into my eyes.

“He’s Angelo Rossini”, whispered my sister. How attractive he was, with his floppy long hair and skinny jeans! I lay in the bath – fully clothed – to shave my hairy legs in readiness for our inevitable tryst. This was going to take a long time as all I had to hand was a nose hair clipper.

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Debenhams Bristol: a unique shopping experience (Rousse)

While BD looked after the three Christmas cakes in his shop on Park Street, I popped up the road to Debenhams to buy some tins so that I could carry my baking home with me after work. The Bristol branch of Debenhams was well known for employing the very brightest staff, and running the tiniest lifts.

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Gay Australia news (Rousse)

I observed in Australia that not only were academic gay couples the norm, but that it was also quite common for them to live with a third, slightly younger, lover.

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Unanticipated corrosion of structural steelwork (Rousse)

Even though the swimming pool at Queen Margaret University was only a couple of years old, its metal structure was already rusting.

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