Students love their naked teacher (Rousse)

Discussing the module in my kitchen, the students and I worked out that we all fell in love around week 7.

When we moved the conversation into the hall I started to feel chilly, so I excused myself to pop into my bedroom and put on some clothes.

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A shy sous chef (Rousse)

VJ had been contracted to cook for a couple of celebrity chefs on daytime television. I volunteered to chop the vegetables (off-camera, in the kitchen).

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Uninsured charity shop burglar escapes to the seaside by tricycle (Rousse)

I noticed that my donation was still not on display several days after  I left it for sale at the charity shop. In fact, it looked like the shop was possibly out of business. I was pretty sure that the bag lady who slept in its doorway hadn’t been moved for days.

I peered into the shop window and spotted that it only opened on Tuesdays. This was hopeless. How would my donation sell if the shop only welcomed customers on one day of the week? There was nothing else for it but to break into the shop to retrieve ‘my’ stuff: a straw basket, two cashmere cardigans, and my purple crocheted cardigan. (I was now wondering why I ever considered giving away all these lovely items?)

Then I found my old red Peugeot 205 and drove into town, uninsured. I knew that I would be in terrible trouble if I had an accident, and when I crashed through a barrier at a level crossing just as a train approached I really thought that this would be the end.

However, I made it safely over the other side, abandoned the car for a tricycle, and pedalled over the green and orange crocheted fields to the seaside.

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Regift revelation (Rousse)

I was rumbled at the school reunion.

BH worked out that I had passed the present that she had given me for my birthday onto HF for hers.

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The computerisation of sanitation businesses (Rousse)

A mature student with a Geordie accent, supported by a gang of friends, was trying to persuade me that it was appropriate that he write his dissertation on how to revive his wife’s failing sanitation business. I explained that this was not sensible if he wished to be awarded a Masters degree in Computing.

I suggested that he consider researching topics related to the computerisation of sanitation businesses instead.

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University cuts pay bill by cutting academic hours by a third (Rousse)

When JK hacked into RK’s email account he found over 5000 confidential messages exchanged between university admin staff on the subject of academic pay.

The Principal had had a hard choice to make in respect of financial savings. To avoid redundancies, all academic staff would now be required to work just two semesters a year, with a corresponding drop in pay. While this suited my plans perfectly, I imagined that it would not be popular with my colleagues.

I wondered how KB would have taken it when she suddenly appeared brandishing a homemade gauze bag of toiletries as an early Christmas present for me.

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Marine biology meets Information Science at Loughborough University (Rousse)

Dressed in a shimmering, metallic ballgown, JH spun around the room with TPR. AM looked on in envy.

Meanwhile all I wanted to know was why my colleagues at Loughborough University were encouraging Masters students to write Information Science dissertations on marine biology. How were the staff qualified to supervise and examine such work?

‘It’s OK’, AM assured me. ‘They just bring in guest lecturers for that.’

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