The world had reverted back to 1989. I needed a doctor’s appointment for the diagnosis of my left eye, which was now completely red, including the iris.
The man at reception suggested that I pay £50 for an evening consultation with the hotel doctor. I couldn’t wait that long so requested a copy of the Yellow Pages so that I could look up a local medical practice.
The plan was to make an appointment by telephone using my mobile phone. But then I remembered that it was 1989 (hence the Yellow Pages) and I didn’t yet own the technology to make cellphone calls.
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RA and his new bride Catherine could not believe my cheek. I only asked if I could come to their wedding and leave half way through so that I could reach DT and KJ in time for the 6pm start of their own marriage celebrations.
Their refusal of my request meant that I wouldn’t have the opportunity of seeing JG, AR or PS on the big day.
Dressed in a summer dress and sandals, I slowly picked my way over the stony beach to the wedding venue. Whereas BD zipped along quickly in shorts, I arrived late, just as bride and groom SB and AR were leading the guests into the reception.
I was about to follow everyone in when I noticed that I had a bare torso!
I walked back up the cliff where I asked a female sun-bather if she would lend me her T shirt. She refused.
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Tagged attire, bare, bride, cliff, groom, guests, late, reception, refuse, sandals, shorts, summer, sun-bather, T shirt, torso, unsuitable, venue, wedding
Everyone was queuing up to enter the Dream Booth in pairs. It was all rather chaotic so I took charge of the sequencing.
I instantly regretted this decision. I should have ignored everyone else and gone first for the best chance of remembering my dreams.
TPR emerged from the booth with a grim look on his face.
‘I now understand what it is to be a woman’, he announced.
I couldn’t wait to climb into the booth myself and discover why to be a man was so much better.
SF liked to show off his false leg. Fashioned from bone, it extended from his right knee. We all felt sick whenever he stood up on it, then flicked his foot to face the wrong direction.
Naturally I wanted to know the flavours of the vol-au-vents. I asked the waiter.
“Lavender avocado and Kit-Kat popcorn, Madam.”