Category Archives: Uncategorized

Prime Minister Boris Johnson lies about fish (Rousse)

Posted on December 16, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Boris Johnston stuck his hand into the drawer of random cutlery and pulled out a flat four inch fish-shaped piece of steel. ‘Excellent, a Tudor fish knife!’ he declared. He was, of course, wrong. The metal might  have been fashioned … Continue reading →

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A Hebridean Princess (Rousse)

Posted on December 13, 2020 by Dreamaticus

A famous dramatist was staying at the guest house on the Isle of Lewis and – it was rumoured – he was about to cast the lead role for his latest play: a princess with long golden hair. Around my … Continue reading →

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iPhone switch scam (Rousse)

Posted on December 12, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Someone had switched my iPhone 11 for a 4. It worked fine, with all my contacts and stored messages and photographs still intact – but it wasn’t my phone. Later TPR managed to work out the identity of the culprit … Continue reading →

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What not to present in a job application (Rousse)

Posted on December 12, 2020 by Dreamaticus

SL showed me her notes for the job application form. ‘What’s the best way of present this information?’ she asked, showing me a sheet of paper headed ‘Dates’ with long list of men’s names underneath. I advised SL that her … Continue reading →

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Holy Island pre-death giveaway (Rousse)

Posted on December 10, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Several of my former colleagues flocked to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne to attend AT’s pre-death giveaway. The ceremony was rather like the reading of a will, except that AT was still alive and you took away your booty on … Continue reading →

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A fold-up four-seater bicycle (Rousse)

Posted on December 6, 2020 by Dreamaticus

EH offered me a lift home from work: on her fold-up four-seater bicycle.

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Blond cat-whiskered half-gorilla baby swept out to sea (Rousse)

Posted on December 5, 2020 by Dreamaticus

She really was a beautiful baby, with a beaming smile and a few tufts of blond hair. I thought, however, that the cat whiskers were rather out of place on her sweet face – until someone explained to me that … Continue reading →

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Tiger shopping deterrent on Easter Road (Rousse)

Posted on November 29, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Three tigers lived in the posh dress shop on Easter Road.  Despite the glamorous proprietor’s assurances that the tigress and her two cubs were ‘perfectly harmless’, there was no chance that I would ever tempted to enter and browse the … Continue reading →

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Salvaged: a single-footed skateboard and an antique secrétaire (Rousse)

Posted on November 26, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Back in Birmingham again, TPR, my father, and my little sister were picking through the contents that we had left three decades earlier in our old house in Northfield. Much of it was junk. This included a narrow skateboard with … Continue reading →

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String sorting wife clings to marital home (Rousse)

Posted on November 24, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Just days before his great revelation, TPR and I had been smugly working our way through albums of old photographs, congratulating ourselves on our long and happy marriage. Now we had returned to our old house in Birmingham (the rooms … Continue reading →

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