Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rag doll and stuffed penguin destroy discipline (Rousse)

Posted on June 6, 2012 by Dreamaticus

S returned home to the White House from yet another bender. I cornered her in the upstairs kitchen and demanded that this outrageous behaviour stop. She eventually agreed to add some discipline to her life, and said that she would … Continue reading →

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Sales rep sings badly for his supper (Rousse)

Posted on June 5, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was imperative that we raised more money. C and I sat at the table with a sales rep and discussed our strategy. Then C’s mobile rang. The name on the phone’s screen read “Michael Tait”. While C chatted to … Continue reading →

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Official: Dorset is not north of Darlington (Rousse)

Posted on June 5, 2012 by Dreamaticus

My cousin B’s sense of direction was terrible. She’d successfully driven the pair of us all the way to Darlington on our journey from Somerset to Scotland. However, when I suggested that we should stop off for a cup of … Continue reading →

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Storms and vandals in Seaton Carew (Rousse)

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Three vandals bleached sections of the Fiat’s paintwork for a laugh. I caught one of them at it and dragged him home to confess his crime to his sister FD. FD lived with her sons and ancient mother in a … Continue reading →

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Bike transport by plane: how much will it cost? (Rousse)

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was very kind of my Canadian cousins to send me off with the gift of two white bicycles (one complete with trailer shopping basket), but how would I persuade the airline to carry them in the hold, and just … Continue reading →

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Postman in shorts steals Belle’s heart

Posted on May 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

As soon as I saw him in his ‘Smart Chav’ label beige shorts, I realised that the postman was the new love of my life.  Excited and blushing, I filled the kettle to make him a cup of tea while … Continue reading →

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Dress alteration with a paperclip (Rousse)

Posted on May 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I recruited TM to help me choose my dress for the party. I eventually settled on the sea green Didier D ball gown that I’d recently bought on George Street. The only problem was that the hook and eye on … Continue reading →

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A canine sleeping companion (Rousse)

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Perhaps SC had lent him to me? How else could I explain why B the wee dog was lying next to me asleep in bed?

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Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse)

Posted on May 28, 2012 by Dreamaticus

We all knew that BB had been working on something rather special. I was excited to be the first to discover the output of his secret project. BB unlocked the massive door to the St Andrew Square house and I … Continue reading →

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NHS equipment failure and a biked-themed party (Rousse)

Posted on May 27, 2012 by Dreamaticus

My dermatologist was becoming increasingly frustrated with the radio next to my hospital bed. He’d turn it off, then two minutes later BBC Radio 4 would spring back to life again. I protested that it wasn’t my responsibility. The radio … Continue reading →

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