Category Archives: Uncategorized

Rousse recommends Rentokil

Posted on August 7, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I’d offered again and again to help, but this time it really was too late. K had finally admitted to her affair with Terry and (unsurprisingly) her boyfriend J had thrown her out. The only place that she could go … Continue reading →

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Hairy Star Wars sidekick Chewbacca comes to take Rousse home

Posted on August 6, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I arrived at the guest house by airborne bike. I had followed the route along the cycle path from its source in the Meadows, all the way to the white cliffs, taking care not to knock over the hundreds of … Continue reading →

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Alex Kapranos’ baby (Rousse)

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Dreamaticus

As was the tradition in my family, a member of the next generation volunteered to give birth to the child of a celebrity. So now I was a great aunt, and my 16-year old niece AF the mother of Alex … Continue reading →

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JK Rowling bakes a mean meringue (Rousse)

Posted on August 1, 2012 by Dreamaticus

This is the tale of the day that JK Rowling and I finally secured our friendship. It didn’t start well… BR scolded me. He couldn’t understand why I thought it acceptable to walk the length of the railway line completely … Continue reading →

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The battle for glamour and a triumph over claustrophobia (Rousse)

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

This was very interesting: Mrs S versus Mrs W. Who would win the battle for glamour between the mothers of my friends VJ and JW? While they fought it out I pushed past the servants setting tables in the dining … Continue reading →

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Secret plot of primary school friends (Rousse)

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Self-nominated Hartburn Primary School high achievers AG and ST took root at a committee table in my bedroom. I had no idea what they were plotting, but apart from the following Wednesday (when AG had to pop back to Stockton … Continue reading →

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Carrot soup success (Rousse)

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Dreamaticus

Our new butler was amazing. I’d only mentioned in passing the night before that I’d like my lunch at 06:30am the next day. At this precise time I awoke to finding him standing at the side of my bed, dressed … Continue reading →

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Belle, the penguin murderer

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I was working for a publishing house, the headquarters of which were on an island not unlike the Famous Five’s Kirrin Island.  My bosses were a commune of penguins who wanted to build a ‘more penguiny future’ and I was delighted … Continue reading →

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Rousse’s fury at friendships unearned

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

I saw Belle so infrequently that whenever we were together I simply wanted her to myself. She was, after all, my favourite friend in all the world, and I was pretty sure that she felt the same about me. So … Continue reading →

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A lost suitcase, an unknown phone number, and the scandal of banking hours in British provincial towns (Rousse)

Posted on July 29, 2012 by Dreamaticus

It was their mistake, but I should have thought of it earlier, especially since I was the one who would suffer as a result. By the time that I returned to the café H and K had already left. They … Continue reading →

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