Category Archives: Uncategorized

Killer Brillo pads (Belle)

A student was showing me his paper-based Breakfast Survey which he was distributing to commuters at Brockley station. I challenged him, angrily: “So basically you’re simply asking people at which of the expensive cafes near the station they bought their … Continue reading →

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Umbrellas for pit bulls, HRT for boyfriends (Belle)

I was in New York in a downpour. A man on stilts wearing a bright red commissionaire’s uniform was holding an umbrella over a gentleman’s pit bull as they crossed the road. As they got closer to me, I saw … Continue reading →

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Posing in a posh car in Cardiff (Rousse)

Wealthy TV producer RJ invited me and a couple of others for a ride round town in his enormous car. The vehicle was a huge black and chrome gas guzzler with room for at least nine passengers. As guest of … Continue reading →

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Film crew at the farm (Rousse)

My cousins’ farm was looking splendid. It was more spacious than ever, beautifully decorated, clean, tidy, and filled with friends. I was particularly impressed that B and J managed all the house work on their own. I wondered, however, at … Continue reading →

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Unwanted cutlery (Rousse)

My sister arrived in Edinburgh with a present for me: a box of mismatched cutlery. “It’s OK”, I whispered to TPR, “We’ll use it this once, then take it to the charity shop”.

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Sex with your friend is better than sex with your sister (Rousse)

I fell head over heels in love with L. She felt the same about me, so we embarked on a passionate affair. Everyone else was disgusted with us. We argued that it could have been worse – at least we … Continue reading →

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Scrabble tile scramble (Rousse)

There were two problems with this game of Scrabble. First, there were far too many blank tiles. This made it impossible to remember letter sequences placed earlier in the game. Second, several (ordinary) tiles had been stolen by others playing … Continue reading →

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Inconsiderate motorists bring news of competition windfall (Rousse)

I had the best night’s sleep with TPR in a tent in a field at the foot of the Pentland Hills. The original plan was to pack up the tent in the morning, then head to the hills for a … Continue reading →

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Competing with a silly super-skinny curly blonde love rival (Rousse)

Fed up with the rest of my family, TPR announced that he was leaving me. Worst still, he already had another woman lined up to take my place: silly super-skinny curly blonde JR. I was now on track to be … Continue reading →

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Sheffield surprise for a claustrophobic (Rousse)

I couldn’t reach the department at the University of Sheffield because they had made no provision for anyone who suffered from claustrophobia when designing the entrance to the building. I told PC that I was far too frightened to squeeze … Continue reading →

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