Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Rail passengers told go ‘Sod off’ (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

We needed to get from Hexham to Newcastle by train to spend the night with LM. When I tried to check the train times on the station’s app it responded with an error message: ‘Trains after 4pm from Hexham to … Continue reading →

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A bee swarm (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

‘Don’t touch it!’ I begged my mother. The bees responded to the poke and swarmed. I was covered in insects from head to toe.

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The secret bigamist (Rousse)

Posted on August 12, 2017 by Dreamaticus

Until I considered what might happen if I died before TPR, I thought it perfectly acceptable to have secretly married my 35 year old ‘boyfriend’. In practice we hardly ever saw each another, and I wondered if he actually remembered … Continue reading →

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Plumbing catastrophe (Rousse)

Posted on August 10, 2017 by Dreamaticus

The poshest restaurant in town did not supply enough waste paper baskets – so everyone threw their rubbish down the lavatories, thus causing a plumbling catastrophe.

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Conference cutlery freebies fight (Rousse)

Posted on August 10, 2017 by Dreamaticus

FR and I fought for conference cutlery freebies.

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A cartoon lover and a career in swimwear (Belle)

Posted on August 10, 2017 by Dreamaticus

My new boyfriend was an almost humanised version of Stan Smith from American Dad.  At his workplace I was presented with a gift and went onto the stage to make an impromptu speech. I said thank you and then said … Continue reading →

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Hebridean hedgehog swimmers and dolphins (Rousse)

Posted on August 7, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I watched the hedgehogs swim to the shore to settle on the Hebridean island, and patted a dolphin and her calf from my seat on the headland.

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Christian Slater is a great rebel boyfriend (Belle)

Posted on August 7, 2017 by Dreamaticus

The venue was hosting both a formal library conference and a small thrash metal event and I was unwilling to commit to either. In the break-out room Christian Slater and I locked eyes and – without needing to speak – … Continue reading →

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A visit to football HQ (Belle)

Posted on August 7, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I was reunited with my former best friend AH for our visit to the Head Office of the English Football Association. While I was wearing a formal suit, she was wearing a mini-kilt, knee-length socks and an oddly bulky top. … Continue reading →

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Mrs Thatcher goes to the loo (Rousse)

Posted on August 6, 2017 by Dreamaticus

I came face-to-face with a giant Spitting Image style Mrs Thatcher dressed in grey tweed. Just beyond her, shuffling along in a blue dress, was the Queen. It looked like Mrs Thatcher wanted to go the the ladies’ lavatory. I … Continue reading →

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